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Posted by John Scalzi

I have thought a number of films have been riotously funny, but only A Fish Called Wanda made me laugh so hard that I was in very real danger of pissing myself right there in the movie theater. It was 1988, I went to see this movie with my friend Marty Glomski, and — to be fair — I did buy myself a soda to enjoy while I watched the film. Normally such a thing would not be a fraught action, but then there were scenes involving inept assassination attempts, and I ended up laughing so hard and so long that my bladder very nearly couldn’t take it any more. I swear to you I was two seconds from peeing my jeans. I wanted to stop laughing so I could stop spotting. I could not. It was mortifying, and delightful.

I cannot guarantee you will laugh as hard at A Fish Called Wanda. If you did, however, and you fell victim to laugh-related involuntary micturition, just know that you are not alone. There are probably legions of us. John Cleese should have invested in adult diapers before writing this film.

The story of how A Fish Called Wanda came to be is interesting in itself. Back in the 1970s and 80s, when John Cleese wasn’t busy with Monty Python or Fawlty Towers, he had co-founded a company called Video Arts, which created training videos for corporate clients (they were allegedly funny corporate training videos. I’ve not seen any, I can’t say). One of the directors for these corporate videos was Charles Crichton. Having Crichton directing corporate training videos was a little like having Scotty Pippen on your basketball team at the Y. In a past life, he directed films at Ealing Studios, including the Academy Award-winning The Lavender Hill Mob, generally regarded as one of the best British comedies of all time.

What was Crichton doing making training films? Well, look, folks, show business is a tough gig. You’re on top one day and the next you’re trying to spice up a video on how to file reports.

That said, John Cleese was certainly aware who he had on staff, and eventually he and Crichton started scheduling time to think up a comedy crime caper, which would eventually become A Fish Called Wanda. The plan was for Cleese to star and Crichton to direct. One catch: When the film was being pitched, Crichton was well into his middle 70s, which worried the money guys. In order to get the film made, Cleese agreed to be co-director. What did that mean for Cleese? Apparently not much! Cleese was open about not having any experience in feature film directing. He was basically there if Crichton keeled over during filming.

Crichton did not keel over. In fact, for the film Crichton (and only Crichton, not Cleese) was nominated for an Academy Award for best director. Don’t feel too bad for Cleese, he got nominated (along with Crichton) for an Oscar in the screenwriting category. Having landed on top again after years in the corporate training video wilderness, Crichton promptly retired and spent the rest of his life fishing. Good for him.

Plotwise, Wanda is a tale of heists and con-men and women, crosses and double-crosses and one barrister who somewhat befuddledly finds himself in the middle of it all. That could be Cleese’s character, Archibald Leach (film fans will recognize this name, and if you don’t, look it up), a bland tall legal type whose life is lower-wealthy-class boredom. That is, until he meets Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis), who is not a fish, but is an associate of George Thomason, Archie’s client, who has been recently accused of a bank robbery involving quite a lot of diamonds. Wanda enchants Archie, because she is smart and looks exactly like Jamie Lee Curtis at her hottest. But, I think it should be obvious, Wanda has something on her mind other than climbing Cleese.

That’s enough of the plot. You just need to know that the people involved in the heist are all trying to screw each other, sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally. There is no honor among thieves, which is not great for any of them but is fabulous for us, because Cleese and Crichton, as screenwriters, put absolutely fantastic words into their mouths, and make them to grand and ridiculous things. For a movie that at least initially comes off as a small and maybe kinda square bit of British japery, things get weird fast.

A lot of that weirdness comes in the form of Otto, played by Kevin Klein in a bit of ego annihilation so complete that he won an Oscar for it. When I say ego annihilation, I mean no one who was concerned about their ego in any way could have played Otto as he did, as the ugliest of all possible ugly Americans and the platonic ideal of Dunning-Kruger. The first time I saw this performance, I just thought it was funny; in subsequent watches it becomes obvious just how much good work Kline is doing here. The scene where Wanda chews him out for messing up her assignation with Archie is a masterclass of facial acting. His words in the scene are good. What his face is doing got him that statuette.

Be assured, however, that Kevin Kline is not the only one engaging in ego annihilation here. None of the principals, who aside from Cleese, Curtis and Kline also includes Michael Palin, get out of this film with their dignity intact. Short of Melissa McCarthy shitting in a sink, I’m not sure another film has put so many of their actors through the wringer for a pile of laughs. It’s not about gross-out comedy (speaking of that McCarthy scene), it’s about the humiliation of their characters, unstiffening that stiff upper lip, in the case of Cleese’s character especially.

Which — confession time — is not the kind of humor I usually like! Cringe humor (the kind of humor that makes you cringe in sympathy for the embarrassment the characters are going through, not the kind of humor that is eye-rollingly corny) is actually one of my least favorite forms of humor. I think my sympathetic response for people making fools of themselves is too strong for me to enjoy the comedy of it. It mostly just makes me want to leave the room until the embarrassing parts are over. Not here, though, and I think it’s both the skill of the writing from Cleese and Crichton, and actual abandon to which the actors give themselves, that simply overrides my desire to curl up into a ball at their misfortunes. Wanda isn’t exactly farce but it’s near enough to it that, for me, at least, it’s inoculated against cringe.

Wanda remains one of the funniest films of all time, but it’s okay to note that 80s films are gonna 80s, and this film does that. The plot line about a character’s stutter was at the time and now continues to be the least successful attempt at humor in the film, and there’s a bit that Otto does that straddles the line for casual homophobia. Also, truly, if animal endangerment bothers you, go ahead and skip this one. You won’t be happy, even if I find at least one of those scenes one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in a theater. What can I say, I’m a terrible human.

I keep coming back to why it was this film made me almost pee myself in public. I think it comes down to the simple fact that very little about this film was what I had expected when I sat down to watch it. I figured it was going to be funny; after all it had a third of Monty Python in it. But I think I went in expecting to chuckle. This wasn’t Monty Python, it was by all indications just a standard issue mid-80s comedy, and again the first several minutes of the film gave the impression that was where things were going.

But then. And then. And then after that. It kept laughing in the face of my expectations, and I kept laughing in surprise. I just did not see it coming.

— JS

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Posted by John Scalzi

I felt like trying my hand at a Christmas song, so I did “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” which was a big hit for Bing Crosby. First I did a pretty traditional version, and when I was done, I thought, why not mess with it a little? So I did a second version, with trap drums and lots of bass.

Here’s the traditional version:

And here’s the NOT traditional version:

I hope you enjoy one or both!

— JS

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Posted by John Scalzi

There was, to be clear, nothing very comforting at all about the 2008 global economic crisis. It was a deeply messed-up time, and even if one was not in danger of losing one’s home in the mess, the reverberations of the collapse of the US housing market echoed through people’s lives in strange and unexpected ways. In my own, there is a line of dominos that goes from the collapse of the housing market to me walking away from a contract for a five-book YA series in early 2009. I was pissed about that, I want you to know. But I assure you that what I experiences was a glancing blow compared to the very real hits lots of other people took. People lost houses. People lost jobs. People’s lives were ruined. And, apparently, no one saw any of this coming.

No, one, that is, but a few finance dudes who, in the mid-2000s, looked at how mortgage-backed securities were being put together by banks and financial companies, realized they were a time bomb waiting to happen, and did what finance dudes do — figured out a way to make a shitload of money when the timebomb went off. These men (and they were all men) were not heroes or good guys. They made money when everyone else had the ground beneath their feet crumble into dust. They did by betting on the misfortunes of others. But no matter what else happened, they did see it coming when no one else could see it, or, more to the point, wanted to see it.

The Big Short is based on the book of the same name by financial journalist Michael Lewis, who, it must be said, has had enviable success in getting his books turned into films; aside from this, his books Moneyball and The Blind Side found their way to the big screen as well. Those books had an approachable hook in that they were about sports as much as they were about money, and everyone (in the US, at least) knows about baseball and football. For The Big Short, the question was: was there actually an audience for a movie about mortgage-backed securities? And how would you find that audience if there were?

Director Adam McKay, who previous to this movie was best known for a series of funny-but-not-precisely-sophisticated films with Will Ferrell, including Anchorman and Step-Brothers, had a two-step solution for the problem of making trading interesting. First, he absolutely packed the film with big names: Brad Pitt. Steve Carell. Christian Bale. Ryan Gosling. That’s a pretty stacked cast right there. Second, any time he had to explain an abstruse financial concept, he gleefully broke the fourth wall and had some other incredibly famous people tell you what the concept was, in a way that didn’t sound like a bunch of boring exposition. So: Anthony Bourdain using fish soup to explain collateral debt organization, Selena Gomez making bets in Las Vegas to elucidate credit default swaps, and, most memorably, Margot Robbie in a bubble bath, explaining how mortgage-backed securities worked in the first place.

Yes! It’s a gimmick! But it’s a gimmick that works to give everybody watching the information they need to know to keep watching and understanding what happens next. McKay has the characters in the main story break the fourth wall every now and again as well, to let the audience know when the story on the screen deviates from what happened in real life, or, in the case of Ryan Gosling, to act as the narrator for the story. This could be obnoxious but it mostly works, largely because the story being told is, actually, gripping.

Why? Because it’s about the end of the world, economically speaking — a financial collapse so big that the only other economic collapse in living memory to compare it to was the Great Depression of the 1930s. Financial folks were taking mortgages, the unsexiest and presumably most stable of financial instruments, and finding new and ever-more-risky ways to repackage them as investment properties, aided by greed and a regulatory system that either didn’t know how to evaluate these risky securities, or, equally likely, simply didn’t care to look. By the time we enter the picture, a few years before the collapse, the downsides are there if someone wanted to look.

The people who looked were Michael Burry (Bale), a clearly autistic nerd running a hedge fund who pored through the numbers and saw the inevitable; Jared Vennett (Gosling), one of the first bankers to look at Burry’s numbers and figure he was right; and Mark Baum (Carrell), who takes a meeting with Vennett, hears his pitch about the collapse, and decides to see how far down this mortgage-backed securities hole goes. Later on we meet Charlie Geller and Jamie Shipley (John Magaro and Finn Witrock) two small-fry fund managers who stumble upon Vennett’s pitch and then recruit Ben Rickert (Pitt) to get them the access they need to make their own short bets. All of these folks with the exception of Vennett are total outsiders, and when all of them come around to buy their shorts, every bank and financial firm is happy to take their money, because they think they are fools.

The thing is, none of these people were just working on a hunch. Burry looked deep into the numbers, while Baum had his people go down to places like Florida, where extremely risky mortgages were being written up, specifically so they could be shoved into, and hidden by, these securities that were allegedly low-risk investment opportunities. These scenes in the movie, where exotic dancers own five homes and are unaware how much risk they’ve exposed themselves to, renters are shocked to find their landlords aren’t keeping up with their mortgage payments, and mortgage underwriters simply do not give a shit who they give a loan to, are like a punch in the face. We see what Baum and his people see: all these people are screwed and there’s no way out of an economic slide into the abyss.

Mind you, not everyone understands it in the same way. When Geller and Shipley manage to wrangle a series of shorts on some exceptionally risky loans, they start dancing and pumping their fists thinking about their little victory — until Ricket makes it extremely clear to them what the cost of their being right is going to be. What? Consequences? Yes. Consequences.

We all know how this ends: The housing bubble collapses, century-old banks go under, foreclosures shoot through the roof, and the Great Recession misses becoming the Second Great Depression only by the smallest of margins. There is wreckage, and all of the main characters in this movie get their payday, although in some cases, it’s a near thing indeed. They get what they wanted, and not a single one of them is happy about it.

Damn it, Scalzi! I hear you say. This movie is depressing as hell! How can you say it’s a comfort movie? Because ultimately it’s about smart people doing smart things. These people don’t get where they end up in the movie because they’re lucky, they get where they end up because they of all people are willing to actually pay attention to what’s directly in front of them. They’re not just going with the flow; they understand the flow is actually an undertow, and it’s going to take everything down with it. And because no one else in the world wants to or is willing to see, then they’re going to do what’s available to them: Make some money off it.

Again: This does not make them good people. It makes them opportunists. Baum, at the very least, seems to be appalled by it all, not that the opportunity exists, but that it exists because other people can’t see the disaster they’re helping to make. He seems genuinely angry that people really are just this stupid. He still shoves his chips onto “collapse,” like everyone else in this film.

Here is the film’s implicit question: Even if any of these guys had screamed to high heaven about the risk of collapse, who would have listened? They weren’t going to do that — these are not those guys — but if they did, would it have mattered? The banks and the regulators and the financial gurus were all on board for everything being great. And there were Cassandras, people who pointed out that these securities were primed to explode, and just like the actual Cassandra, no one listened. If you could yell at the top of your lungs and still no one would give a shit, what’s left? As an investor, either find some part of the market that’s going to weather a global collapse, or short the crap out of it and fiddle while everything burns. We know what these guys did. What would you do?

The Big Short changed the career of Adam McKay, who walked away from this film with an Oscar for screenwriting and a license to make movies that aren’t just goofy (his films in the aftermath of this one: Vice, about Dick Cheney, and Don’t Look Up, about the actual end of the world). Good for him. I would like to say this movie also served as a warning about the dangers of blind and heedless capitalism, but look at the AI Bubble, where seven tech companies, all besotted by “AI,” are 40% of the S&P 500’s market capitalization, and are sucking the US dry of energy and water. The look at the current state of the housing market in the US, where in most states buying a home is unaffordable on the average income, and tell me what we’ve learned. The tell me whether the people running the country right now are equipped to handle the collapse when it happens, or will just try to short it themselves.

This movie isn’t a comfort movie because it has good people or a happy ending. It’s a comfort movie for one reason: Some people actually can see what is going to happen before it all goes off the rails. It’s comforting to know that in this, one is not alone.

— JS

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Posted by Cora

A week after issue 1 of the new Masters of the Universe comic mini-series The Sword of Flaws came out (see my review here and a review of issue 2 is coming soon), Dark Horse already brought us the next Masters of the Universe comic, a one-shot set in the Revelation/Revolution continuity focussed on the character of Andra, written by Tiffany Smith, the actress who voiced Andra, with art by Adriana Melo and colours by Guiliano Peratelli. Releasing two comics in the same franchise a week apart seems like a strange choice, but the Andra one-shot has been delayed for a couple of months now, likely fallout from the bankruptcy of Diamond Comic Distributors.

And talking of delays, I’d planned to post this review long before now, but then I caught the flu and was busy with day job work and then I had problems taking the toy photos you’ll see below, because the lamp illuminating my usual photo spot was broken. Still, better late than never, so enjoy my review of the Andra one-shot:

Masters of the Universe Revelation/Revolution gave a lot of development to many existing Masters of the Universe characters and also introduced two brand-new characters. One is the Mighty Motherboard, Hordak’s agent on Eternia and idol of a bizarre technocult. The other is Andra, tech whiz as well as Teela’s friend and partner during her mercenary phase. Though there is some debate whether Andra really is a new character, because a character named Lieutenant Andra, also a friend of Teela’s and member of the Royal Guard, had a few small appearance in the Marvel Star Comics of the 1980s. However, apart from the name and their connection to Teela, both characters have nothing in common, so I assume they’re two different characters who just happen to share the same name (which coincidentally is also the easiest solution to the King Grayskull dilemma, simply assuming that the white King Grayskull from the 200X cartoon and the black King Grayskull from Revelation/Revolution are two different people, King Grayskull I and King Grayskull II).

Though this didn’t stop the usual haters, who most likely had no idea who Lieutenant Andra from the Marvel Star Comics even was, from bitterly complaining about Andra in Masters of the Universe: Revelation/Revolution, because Andra happens to be a) a major character, b) female and c) black. Honestly, this crap is so predictable.

That said, I really liked Andra as a character. Masters of the Universe has always been a male-heavy franchise – leaving Princess of Power aside for a moment – so another female character is always welcome and Teela certainly needs a female friend, since she grew up raised by a single father and surrounded by men.  Masters of the Universe is also a very white franchise, so another character of colour is always welcome as well. Finally, Andra is also part of the “passing of the torch” motif of Revelation/Revolution, since she is promoted to the new Man-at-Arms at the end of Revelation.

The writer of the Andra one-shot is none other than Tiffany Smith, the actress who voiced Andra in Revelation/Revolution. Now actors writing or co-writing comics isn’t as rare as you might think. Examples include Patton Oswalt, Amber Benson, John Cleese, Emilia Clarke, Danny DeVito, Michael Chiklis, Kevin Conroy, Paul Dano, Keanu Reeves, Miguel Ferrer, David Dastmalchian, Ahmed Best, Kevin Smith (if he counts), etc… Even actors writing comics about a character they themselves played/voiced isn’t as rare as you’d think, e.g. Danny DeVito wrote a Penguin comic after playing the character in Batman Returns and Miguel Ferrer wrote the Marvel Comics adaptation of Robo-Cop after appearing in the movie. And just today I read that Ahmed Best is writing a comic bringing the two Star Wars characters he played – Jar-Jar Binks and the Jedi Kelleran Beq – together. And for Masters of the Universe, Tim Sheridan who wrote the Revelation and Revolution prequel comics was not just one of the writers for the show, but also voiced King Miro who featured quite prominently in the Revolution prequel comics.

Some of these examples of actors writing comics were clearly publicity stunts, others stem from a genuine takent for and interest in the medium and some – Tim Sheridan is the clearest example – are actually better known for their comic writing than for their acting. As for Tiffany Smith, she is not just a lifelong comic and Masters of the Universe fan, but also hosted the DC Daily news show on the DC Universe streaming service and also moderated panels at San Diego Comic Con. In short, she’s a fan and knows both comics and Masters of the Universe.

What is more, because Andra was basically a brand-new character developed for Masters of the Universe Revelation/Revolution, Andra took a lot of influence and inspiration from the actress voicing her, more so than characters who have been around for forty years. In this interview, Tiffany Smith says that Revelation/Revolution showrunner Kevin Smith said to her, “Andra is you, but amplified”. So in short, Tiffany Smith is also in a unique position to understand the character of Andra. And indeed Rob David of Mattel, one of the executive producers of Revelation/Revolution and writer of the “Eternity War” comics from DC, personally suggested that Tiffany Smith write an Andra comic, when she expressed interest in writing comics.

As for the art, Adriana Melo is a Brazilian artist and Eisner winner who has worked on multiple projects for both Marvel and DC as well as for Image and she worked on Star Wars tie-ins as well. Much of her work so far has been on comics with female lead characters – Harley Quinn, Ms. Marvel, Witchblade, Birds of Prey, Catwoman, Emma Frost, etc… This makes sense, because Adriana Melo draws women with curvy but realistic bodies. Andra, Teela and the other female characters have breasts and hips, but not the ridiculous balloon breasts and butts of the male gazy 1990s. Adriana Melo’s art is well suited to the bring the fantastic world of Eternia to life. The characters are based on their Revelation/Revolution designs, though Adriana Melo also gets the chance to reimagine characters we haven’t yet seen in Revelation/Revolution for this continuity.

But now let’s get to the comic: The Andra one-shot is set between Masters of the Universe Revelation and Revolution and deals with Andra coming to terms with her new role as Man-at-Arms.

Warning: Spoilers under the cut!

Now episodes 2 to 10 of Masters of the Universe Revelation take place over a few days, weeks at most.  And Andra’s life changes drastically during these few days. She makes new friends and gains a new adoptive family, helps to save Eternia and the entire universe, gets a new job and is catapulted into a life of privilege at the Royal Palace, when it’s strongly implied that Andra does not come from a privileged background. What is more, Andra has been alone for a long time and only responsible for herself, until she hooked up with Teela. And now she’s suddenly given a position which not just requires her to be Eternia’s resident tech wiz –  cause Andra has no problems with that part of the job – but also in charge of commanding the Royal Guard (Eternia’s Man-at-Arms is general and commander of the Eternian Forces directly under Randor) and training recruits. That’s a lot to adjust to. The fact that Andra has a massive case of imposter syndrome doesn’t help either.

In an episode of Masters of the Universe Revelation, Orko – who is dying at the time (don’t worry, he gets better) – tells Andra to keep a diary, so she will always remember her adventures. Andra clearly took his advice, because parts of the comic are narrated as a diary entry.

The story with Teela and Andra sparring together in the palace. Now we know that combat training and sparring are Teela’s way of expression love and friendship and she’s not going to stop her training sessions just because she’s the Sorceress of Grayskull now. Just as she’s not going to let Andra or Adam miss their sessions, just because Adam is He-Man and Andra is the new Man-at-Arms. Though we suspect that Adam is glad that he no longer is the sole focus of Teela’s training sessions. Besides, it’s nice to see more of Teela and Andra’s friendship, since we didn’t get a lot of interaction between these two in Masters of the Universe Revolution due to the limited runtime.

The training session isn’t going too badly either. Teela gets a punch in, but Andra manages to sweep her legs from under her. However, Teela has a few extra tricks up her sleeve. And so she uses her magic to levitate Andra into the air – even though Teela and Andra had agreed to use neither magic nor tech beforehand – because villains wouldn’t fight fair either. Teela also tells Andra that she will have to teach the new cadets ways to defend themselves against magic. Andra replies that she already has some ideas, but that she still needs more time.

However, time is the one thing Andra hasn’t got, because Orko materialises to remind her that she had to go and train a fresh crop of cadets right now. Now I suspect that the big battle at the end of Masters of the Universe Revelation thinned the ranks of the Royal Guard, so new recruits are sorely needed.

But before she faces her first class of cadets, Andra needs a moment to herself. Orko accompanies her to her new quarters in the Royal Palace. The living arrangements inside the Royal Palace usually depend on the version of the story. In the Filmation cartoon, we see that the bedrooms of all the main characters are arranged along one long corridor. Adam’s and Teela’s bedrooms are on either end of the corridor with Randor and Marlena’s, Duncan’s and Orko’s bedrooms inbetween, making any hanky panky quite impossible. Meanwhile, in the 200X cartoon, Duncan and Teela have a little house of their own on the palace grounds with a workshop for Duncan. Andra, meanwhile, is back to getting a room in a long corridor, though we suspect there is no longer any buffer to keep Adam and Teela apart. Inside her room, we see Andra writing in her diary and looking at herself in the mirror. We also see a shiny seashell lying on her desk. This will be important later.

The scene shifts to the palace courtyard, where Andra welcomes the new cadets. Duncan is there as well – dressed in his green dress uniform (Could we maybe have a Dress Uniform Duncan, Mattel, pretty please?) to offer support and advice. Though he’s careful not to take away Andra’s spotlight. There’s only one Man-at-Arms here and that’s Andra. Duncan and Andra start out by sparring a bit, while one particularly forward cadet notes that sparring won’t help them against magic.

Andra is only taken aback for a brief moment, then she replies that the best way to fight magic is by making your own. And for Andra, that’s technology. It’s all she ever had and it has gotten her pretty far. And to prove her point, Andra fires her arm cannon at several training dummies, wowing the cadets. Magic versus technology is a central theme of both Masters of the Universe Revelation and Revolution and it’s also very much a central theme of this comic.

As for the cadets, they are all human – though both the Classics and Origins toyline gave us non-human Royal Guards as well – and they are all very young, fifteen or sixteen at most. This does fit in with the Filmation cartoon, where we have seen guards who are essentially kids on several occasions. And Teela is already Captain of the Royal Guard when she’s not yet twenty and apparently was about twelve when she joined the Guard, as shown in a flashback in the Eternity War comics. And in the 200X cartoon, it’s specified that both Adam and Teela are sixteen. And while we never see it, it’s strongly implied that Randor and Duncan were also very young when they joined the Guard. So in short, Eternia has very different ideas about the appropriate military recruiting age and some of the younger cadets and guards we see are basically child soldiers.

This child soldier problem isn’t limited to Masters of the Universe either, many properties aimed at children and teenagers tend to have very young protagonists in order to make them relatable for young audiences. See the X-Men, New Mutants, Teen Titans and other teen superheroes as well as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jonny Quest, the young Defenders of the Earth (the Dads are appopriately aged) and many others. And indeed, young audiences enjoy following characters who are their age or a little older having adventures and being heroes, but when you watch/read these stories as an adult, you frequently want to call Child Protection Services, because kids shouldn’t fight battles and get involved in dangerous and potentially deadly situations, but should be in school instead. And indeed, the media in question does address the child soldier problem on occasion. Most recently, the Masters of the Universe and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crossover comic mini-series Turtles of Grayskull did just that and gave us some very sweet moments of both Splinter and Duncan remarking that they really don’t want to send their children into danger and yet are forced to do so.

After Andra’s demonstration, the cadets gather around a large table filled with weapons parts to watch Andra showing them how to assemble those parts into a big blaster. Duncan quitely asks if she needs a hand, but Andra replies that she’s fine and that she’s got this. She is in her element, after all.

Unfortunately, Andra is going a little too fast for the students to follow – an easy mistake for teachers to make – but one of the cadets finally manages to assemble a very big blaster. Andra encourages him to take aim at the training dummies and fire. However, Andra forgot to tell the cadets to clean the weapons/components first and so the blaster explodes, once the trigger is pulled, blasting soot all over Andra and the unfortunate cadet. The cadets bombard Andra with questions about what to do now and how any of this will help them against magic. Meanwhile, Duncan leaves quietly, though not unnoticed by Andra.

Andra dismisses the cadets with the promise that she will show them how to properly clean their weapons in their next lesson. Then she follows Duncan, assuming that he will immediately run to King Randor to report what a failure Andra is as Man-at-Arms. That’s not what Duncan does at all, but of course Andra has no way of knowing that. We next see her back in her room, writing in her diary about what a failure her first training sessions was and what was she thinking anyway that she could be a hero and a leader. We see a bit more of Andra’s room, including a workbench and the filter mask she and Teela wore in episode 2 of Masters of the Universe Revelation to protect themselves against Stinkor’s stench. The gleaming sea shell is clearly visible again as well.

Andra finally goes to bed, trying to tell herself that she doesn’t really care if King Randor fires her and kicks her out of the palace, because she is used to being on her own anyway. She falls asleep and has a bad dream. It all starts harmlessly enough with little Andra, who’s about five or six years old at this point, with her parents on the beach. They are happy enough, but then her parents tells Andra to run. Andra hides in a cave, while some unseen person corners her parents outside and sneeringly asks them, “And what good will that do against magic?” before killing them with a red magic blast. Terrified, Andra wakes up.

We next see Andra alone on the balcony of the terrace of the Royal Palace, looking out into the distance. However, before long Andra is joined by Adam. “He-Man – ahem – Adam – ahem Your Majesty,” she stammers. “Your Majesty” is foreshadowing of sorts to episode 1 of Masters of the Universe Revolution, because Adam would still be “Your Royal Highness” at this point – “Your Majesty” is reserved for the King and Queen. Not that Adam ever cared about his title anyway and indeed he mostly goes just by Adam. However, this moment also reminds us that Andra hasn’t actually known Adam for all that long at this point. She only meets Adam in Preternia in episode 5 of Masters of the Universe Revelation and the rest of the series takes place over the course of a few days, most of which is taken up by running and fighting. Andra simply hasn’t had a lot of chance to get to know Adam, so it’s lovely to see them bonding.

That said, Adam accepts Andra pretty much immediately, once he meets her. There’s never any question along the lines of “Who is this?”, he just accept that Andra is Teela’s friend. Adam’s first words on screen to her are, “Your name is Andra, right? Could you…?” This matches Adam’s characterisation across various iterations of Masters of the Universe. Adam always quickly connects with the people he meets, whether it’s as He-Man or Adam. He’s also good at sensing when someone is feeling down and needs a pep talk, something we see several times in the 200X cartoon where Adam is the one who notices when one of the Heroic Warriors is feeling inadequate and goes over to them to cheer them up. And in the Filmation episode “A Friend in Need”, i.e. the better known of the two He-Man anti-drugs episodes, Adam tries to cheer up Teela’s friend Ileena, while trying to figure out what’s wrong with her. After all, Adam knows a thing or two about feeling inadequate and believing that everybody thinks he’s an idiot.

And so, when Andra starts to apologise about the disastrous training session, Adam cuts her off and tells her that Duncan said she was doing a great job, even if there were some explosive moments. And no, Andra is not fired and indeed Eternia can count itself glad to have her. Adam also tells Andra that she should have seen Duncan on his first day trying to train Adam and Teela and that it was a complete disaster. I can certainly vividly imagine that. Teela, the perpetual overarchiever trying to master everything at once and inevitably messing up, while Adam would rather sit under a tree with Cringer and read a book. Indeed the Filmation cartoon has a scene where a young Duncan is trying to teach archery to little Teela, who appears to be about seven years old at this point, which works out about as well as you can imagine.

The pep talk makes Andra feel a little better, but Adam senses that there’s more. Andra says that it was just a nightmare about her parents. Adam says he’s there if she wants to talk about it, but Andra doesn’t want to talk about her parents, at least not now. However, there’s something else Adam can do for her. Cause Andra is really interested in the exact mechanics of his transformation into He-Man and would like to see how it works. She is a scientist, after all. Adam is about to oblige, but before he can say the words, Orko appears and says that King Randor is looking for them.

So Adam, Teela and Andra meet with King Randor, who is receiving a holographic transmission from Duncan. Duncan apologises to Andra that he had to leave the training early, but he had to help out an old friend. Duncan also reports that he’s on his way to Orkas Island and that he needs Andra’s technical expertise, so he asks her to meet him there. However, Duncan also heard rumblings of magical unrest in the Dunes of Doom and notes that someone should look into that. So King Randor sends Adam and Teela to the Dunes of Doom to deal with whatever is going on there and dispatches Andra to Orkas Island to help Duncan.

The locations are certainly interesting. According to this unofficial map and this official one, the Dunes of Doom are a desert region on the border between the light and dark hemisphere of Eternia. Orkas Island, meanwhile, is a small island in the Ocean of Gnarl. Its first and so far only appearance was in the 200X episode “The Island”, where we learn that Orkas Island is inhabited by the crab people, the best known of whom is the Evil Warrior Clawful. There’s also a human village whose inhabitants sustain themselves by fishing. Coincidentally, Orkas Island is also the setting of the Masters of the Universe toy photo story “Holiday on Orkas Island”, which I really want to reshoot someday, since I could do a much better job today. More importantly, both Orkas Island and the Dunes of Doom are also associated with one particular Masters of the Universe character. And no, it’s not Clawful.

So Teela and Adam set off for the Dunes of Doom, while Andra heads to Orkas Island aboard the War Whale, a sea-going vehicle from the 200X cartoon and toyline that we haven’t seen in action in twenty years or so.

However, what neither Andra nor Teela and Adam nor Randor know is that it’s all a trap. For when Duncan left the training session early, he headed to the docks of a harbour. It’s not clear where this harbour is, since Eternos does lie by the sea. On the docks, Duncan sees a cloaked figure tinkering with a War Whale. When he approaches the person, the cloaked figure turns around and is revealed to be none other than Count Marzo, who promptly uses his magic to drug Duncan and hypnotise him into making that particular report to King Randor, sending Adam and Teela on a wild goose chase in the Dunes of Doom and luring Andra to Orkas Island.

As explained here, Count Marzo is an evil sorcerer who appeared both in the Filmation cartoon and the 200X cartoon. He is probably the most notable of the second tier villains, though he was  a very different character in the Filmation and 200X cartoon respectively. In his three appearances the Filmation cartoon, Count Marzo is a sorcerer who dresses like a Shakespearean villain and kidnaps children, erases their memories and/or peddles drugs to them to get them to do his evil bidding. In short, Filmation Count Marzo is a walking, talking public service announcement. He also notes at one point that he is hundreds of years old and will live hundreds more.

In the 200X cartoon, Count Marzo is still an evil sorcerer, but that’s about the only thing he has in common with his Filmation counterpart. Marzo speaks with an East European accent now, he has red eyes, long black hair that dramatically blows in the wind and struts around mostly bare-chested with a cape that also dramatically blows in the wind (the 200X cartoon was big on things blowing dramatically in the wind). This version of Marzo no longer peddles drugs or recruits children for his nefarious schemes, but instead tries to conquer Eternia with the help of his monstrous hellhounds and Shadow Beasts and the considerable powers bestowed upon him by his magical amulet. Marzo tried to conquer Eternia during Miro’s time, but was defeated and captured. The Council of Elders, who rule Eternia in the 200X cartoon before pissing off to parts unknown, leaving Randor in charge, strip Marzo of his powers and hide away his magical amulet, which turns Marzo into a withered old man and his hellhounds into rats.

Marzo did not appear in Masters of the Universe Revelation/Revolution, because the story didn’t really have the time to explore second tier villains, which is why he makes the perfect antagonist for this comic. The Revelation/Revolution interpretation of Marzo is closely based on the 200X version of the character, simply because that is the more interesting version. Though Marzo drugging Duncan with some kind of narcotic powder is a reference to his drug dealing in the Filmation cartoon. Once again, Marzo is reduced to a powerless old man without his amulet. However, artist Adriana Melo wisely decides not to portray Old Man Marzo as an offensive anti-semitic stereotype like in the 200X cartoon (honestly, how was this ever considered okay, especially as late as 2003?).  Instead, the depowered Marzo looks like the regular Marzo here, only old and white-haired, which also makes a lot more sense than Marzo transforming into a diminuitive anti-semitic stereotype, once he is separated from his amulet.

Andra, of course, doesn’t know any of this, when she heads to Orkas Island on the War Whale. To her surprise, she finds the island enveloped in a kind of red mist. Andra moors the War Whale on the quay and walks through the human fishing village, looking for Duncan.

The locals, meanwhile, seem very surprised to see Andra. “Who are you? How did you get here?” a young boy asks. “She’s the key,” an old woman with a seashell necklace with a red gemstone exclaims. “She’s the key. She’s the key,” the locals repeat over and over again.

Andra, meanwhile, has no idea what they’re talking about. She explains that she’s Eternia’s Man-at-Arms. But before she can say anything else or ask about Duncan, someone exclaims, “My granddaughter!”

Surprise: Andra’s grandfather, whom she assumed died years ago along with her parents, is still alive. Even bigger surprise: It’s Dekker, confirming a theory I at least have had for a while now.

Dekker is a character who was introduced in the 200X cartoon. He was Man-at-Arms before Duncan, trained both Duncan and Randor (whom he used to call Randy) and taught Duncan everything he knows. So in short, Dekker was to Duncan and Randor what Duncan is to Teela and Adam, mentor and father figure. And both Duncan and Randor certainly needed a mentor and father figure, since Miro was pretty inadequate as a father and we don’t know if Duncan ever had a father at all. Dekker only appeared in a single episode of the 200X cartoon, entitled “The Island”, where Duncan, Teela and Adam go to visit Dekker on Orkas Island where he has retired and spends his days fishing. However, the reunion is interrupted, when Clawful, his cousin Pinsore and the rest of the Crab People attack and try to kidnap Duncan to ingratiate themselves with Skeletor.

Dekker confronts Clawful and another crab person

“My archenemies? You? Don’t make me laugh. You two are just an annoyance. And now get lost or I’ll enjoy you roasted with Old Bay seasoning.”

Dekker is a fascinating character, though he only appeared in that one episode, most likely because the cartoon was cancelled soon thereafter. He did have some background appearances in the DC Comics run, where he travels to Eternos to attend the funeral of the Sorceress and gets involved in the fighting, when the Horde attacks. However, we don’t learn anything about Dekker in those comics that we didn’t already know.

Even though he only appeared in a single episode, Dekker got an action figure in the Masters of the Universe Classics line. The Classics action figures all had a short bio on the back of the box and so we learn a bit more about Dekker.  According to the Classics bio, Dekker was a mercenary from the Dunes of Doom. He originally fought for Count Marzo during the conflict known as “The Great Unrest”, but then switched sides and joined the Royal Guards. He rose through the ranks and was appointed Man-at-Arms by Miro. He fought many battles and fulfiled many missions with his sidekick and protegé, a young Duncan. Eventually, Dekker retired to Orkas Island and Duncan became the new Man-at-Arms. So according to the Classics bio, Dekker not only hails from the Dunes of Doom – the very same Dunes of Doom where Adam and Teela are currently chasing wild geese – but he also has a connection to Count Marzo. Coincidentally, this also means that Marzo has a very good reason to hate Dekker, since Dekker first deserted Marzo to join Miro’s forces and then was involved in Marzo’s defeat.

For more than two decades, this was all we knew about Dekker and indeed, we learn more about Dekker in this comic than we’ve learned in twenty years. Neither in the 200X cartoon nor in the Classics bio was there ever any mention that Dekker had a family. However, Andra mentions her grandfather a few times in Masters of the Universe: Revelation. She tells Teela at one point that her grandfather used to tell her stories about Castle Grayskull, implying that he was member of the Royal Guard. Andra also mentions that she’s been alone since her grandfather died.

Of course, there are lot of Royal Guards. So why did I have the theory that Dekker was Andra’s grandfather? Well, it all started when I bought the Masters of the Universe Classics Dekker action figure, which was actually my first ever Classics figure. I took a few photos with the figure, including this shot of three generations of Eternian Men-at-Arms:

Three generations of Eternian Men-at-Arms: Duncan, Dekker and Andra.

Three generations of Eternian Men-at-Arms: Duncan, Dekker and Andra.

As I set up the figures and took the photo, I noticed that there’s a physical resemblance between Andra and Dekker, which goes beyond the fact that they’re both black. And I thought, “Hmm, does Dekker maybe have a sweet little secret?”

Then, when Masters of the Universe Revolution was about to come out, I chanced to watch this episode of the Geek the F Out YouTube channel, where they discuss part 2 of Masters of the Universe Revelation. Around the 1:06 hour mark, someone mentions that Revelation/Revolution producer Ted Biaselli watched the discussion and messaged the channel to point out that so far no one had noticed the possible connection between Dekker and Andra.

So now the Andra one-shot confirmed a theory that was seeded all the way back in Masters of the Universe Revelation. Andra is indeed Dekker’s granddaughter. And it turns out that rumours of Dekker’s death were exaggerated, because he’s simply too cool a character to kill off.

Andra is understandably shocked. Her grandfather, whom she thought dead, is alive and on Orkas Island. And if her grandfather is still alive, does that maybe mean that her parents are still alive as well? Dekker sadly shakes his head and tells Andra that no, her parents really are dead. Dekker also tells Andra that she shouldn’t be here and that he’s sorry, but that he was only trying to keep her and everybody else safe. Andra counters that she was a little kid left all alone without any family, which is pretty much the opposite of safe.

Andra also tells Dekker that she’s only here, because she’s looking for Duncan, which begs the question whether Andra knows that Duncan and Dekker know each other and used to be partners. Most likely she found out sometime after Revelation, either because she made the connection between Teela’s Dad and that young cadet named Duncan her grandfather told her about or because Duncan made the connection between his old mentor and his daughter’s best friend.

Meanwhile, Dekker is taken aback, because he clearly hasn’t seen Duncan in years and assumes he’s in Eternos. Andra replies that Duncan sent her a message asking her to come to Orkas Island, because he needed help. This causes Dekker to freak out. He calls across the market place that he‘s coming, he‘s figured out the key and he knows Andra is here. Andra is completely confused and wants to know what on Eternia Dekker is talking about. However, before Dekker can reply, Count Marzo shows up, for of course he is the one that Dekker was talking about.

Like all villains, Marzo is quite talkative. He explains that the people of Orkas Island did a good job, keeping his amulet, the island itself and Andra hidden all of those years. However, when Teela became the new Sorceress of Grayskull, the resulting rush of magic briefly caused the magical shields (i.e. the red mist Andra saw enveloping the island) around Orkas Island to drop, revealing the location of his amulet to Marzo. Marzo also figured out that Andra was the key to get through the shields around the island. Oh yes, and he killed her parents all those years ago, too.

Andra finally realises that her recurrent nightmare about her parents’ death is more than just a nightmare and that Marzo was the unseen person who murdered them. Furious, she rushes towards Marzo. Dekker tries to stop her and tells Andra she has no idea what she’s up against. Andra, however, won’t be stopped. She tells Dekker to stay back and that she can handle Marzo in her own way. Then she confronts Marzo and tells him, “Well, you need a magical amulet to fight, but I can make my own magic” and activates the giant armoured Hulkbuster suit (I don’t think it ever got an official name), which we saw Andra as well as Randor and Adam use in Masters of the Universe Revolution. For that matter, we really need an action figure of Man-at-Arms Andra with that suit, preferably removable, so you can also put other characters in the suit. Come on, Mattel, what are you waiting for?

Andra tells Marzo to return Duncan and then piss off to wherever he came from. Marzo replies that he isn’t leaving without his amulet, so we get a great fight between Andra in her armoured suit and Marzo, who – though still nowhere near his full power – is getting visibly younger and stronger, empowered by the proximity of his amulet. Andra, however, isn’t impressed. She continues to pummel Marzo and demands, “Where is Duncan?”

Marzo replies that Duncan is a little tied up right now and reveals that he has tied Duncan to a rock jutting from the sea just off the coast of Orkas Island. And the tide is rising, leaving Duncan nearly submerged. Andra uses her arm cannon to undo Duncan’s bonds and free him, while Marzo uses the moment to blast apart the rock where his amulet is hidden. Marzo grabs the amulet, announces that he will soon regain his full power and once he does, he will raise an army, overthrow King Randor and take the throne of Eternia for himself. You certainly can’t fault his ambition.

Marzo teleports away, while Andra pulls Duncan onto the beach. She once again feels like a failure, because she let Marzo get away. However, Duncan tells Andra that she’s not a failure, since she protected the island and its people and rescued Duncan, which is more important than capturing Marzo.

Dekker and the old woman with the seashell necklace come running, relieved that both Andra and Duncan are okay. The woman says that they maybe have a day or two before Marzo realises that something is wrong and comes back. Andra replies that it’s over and that Marzo has the amulet. “But he doesn’t have all of it,” the old woman replies and points at the red gemstone in her necklace. It’s a splinter of the large red gemstone in Marzo’s amulet and without that splinter, Marzo won’t be able to regain his full power. The old woman also calls Andra by her childhood nickname “Rara” and Andra finally recognises her. “Ms. Maeve”, she exclaims.

Now Maeve is a brand-new character we’ve never seen before. She’s a sorceress who helped to bring down Marzo and divest him off his amulet the last time around. It’s also strongly implied that she is Dekker’s partner and has been for some time, though she’s not Andra’s grandmother, if only because Andra would call her “grandmother” rather than “Ms. Maeve”, if she were. Personally, I suspect that Andra’s grandmother either died quite a long time ago or – similar to what happened to Duncan with Teela – she could or would not raise her daughter and left Dekker holding the baby. At some point, clearly some time ago, Dekker then started up a relationship with Maeve. Eternian Men-at-Arms clearly have a thing for witchy women.

Later on, Maeve also mentions that she knew Teela-Na and that Teela-Na taught her a few things about magic, which opens up a whole bunch of possibilities. Most of the time, we see the Sorceress of Grayskull residing alone in the Castle. However, it’s quite possible that in times past, the Sorceress who preceded Teela-Na (in the Filmation episode “The Origin of the Sorceress”, the previous Sorceress is Kuduk Ungol, though Revelation/Revolution recasts Kuduk Ungol as the first Sorceress) surrounded herself with other female magic users. After all, the Sorceress is both the avatar and priestess of Zoar, one of the Eternian gods. And in the Revolution prequel comics, we see that the worshippers of Ha’voc, one of the other Eternian gods, are a coven of cloaked witches led by Skeletor’s mother Saryn. So why shouldn’t there be a coven of Zoar (and possibly one of Ka/Serpos, the snake deity, as well)? Especially since Kuduk Ungol or whoever preceded Teela-Na would need to find and train a successor. And in fact, we do see a coven of Zoar led by King Grayskull’s wife and previous Sorceress Veena in a flashback in the 2012 – 2016 DC Masters of the Universe comic run.

So here’s my theory: At some point around the time King Miro vanished and Randor became king, the Royal Guard or probably just the dynamic duo of Duncan and Dekker were dispatched to Castle Grayskull, quite possibly to protect the Castle from the Horde (since we know they regularly attack Eternia, including around this time) or maybe Count Marzo or the warlord Prahvus or whichever other players were involved in the conflict known as the Great Unrest (about which we know very little, considering how frequently it is mentioned in the 200X cartoon and the Classics biographies and mini-comics). While at the Castle, Duncan fell in love with Teela-Na and fathered Teela, unaware that Teela-Na was destined to become the next Sorceress of Grayskull. Meanwhile, Dekker found love with Maeve, a relationship which had a happier outcome for both parties. In fact, I now really want to see that story in some form. Honestly, we need to know more about the Great Unrest, about how Randor fell in love with Marlena and Duncan fell in love with Teela-Na and what exactly was going with Dekker and Maeve. In fact, this would make a great prequel comic.

However, before Andra and Duncan can catch up with Dekker and Maeve, they still have to stop Marzo. Duncan and Andra immediately try to contact Randor to warn him that Marzo is loose and also to recall Adam and Teela from their wild goose chase in the Dunes of Doom. However, the battle with Marzo fried their communication systems. So Andra suggests taking the War Whale to return to Eternos and warn the King. “I can handle that,” Duncan says. However, Andra insists that she go and warn the King, since she has no idea what she’s doing and is generally a complete failure as Man-at-Arms.

Duncan tells Andra that she’s not a failure and that she’s exactly who the people of Orkas Island need. He also tells Andra that she may have had to rely only on her wits and her tech for most of her life, but that she’s no longer alone now. She’s got friends, she just got her grandfather back and that it’s important to accept help sometimes. Duncan once again proves why he’s such a great mentor and father figure. Not only does he give Andra the pep talk she needs, he also holds back throughout the comic and does his best not to steal Andra’s thunder as the new Man-at-Arms.

So Duncan sets off for Eternos, while Andra tries to come up with a plan. First, she needs to know how exactly Marzo’s powers work, so she asks Dekker and Maeve. Maeve explains that Marzo will need about a day to regain his powers and because a splinter of the amulet is missing, he won’t fully regain his powers, which gives them some time. Andra then asks how Marzo was able to use magic without his amulet. Maeve explains that Marzo can absorb limited amounts of magic from the amulet just by being in its vicinity. “So he’s like a battery,” Andra says, putting Marzo’s power in terms she understands, “The more magic he uses, the more his power is depleted.” This gives her the beginning of a plan. In order to stop Marzo, they need to drain his power.

Next Andra asks what sort of technology they have on the island, since tech is what Andra is most comfortable with. Alas, Orkas Island is a low tech place and the inhabitants deliberately kept it that way, because less tech means less of a chance of anybody tracking it and piercing the magical shield around the island. So tech is out.

Andra finally asks how the people of Orkas Island stopped Marzo the last time and separated him from his amulet. Turns out that this is where Andra’s parents came in. They distracted Marzo long enough to drain him, but Marzo killed them in the process. So Andra’s parents sacrificed themselves to stop Marzo and protect their daughter.

Andra announces that if that’s what it takes to stop Marzo, she’ll keep him busy until Duncan can return with He-Man and Teela and the Royal Guard to deal with Marzo once and for all. Dekker says that Andra sacrificing herself is the last thing her parents would have wanted, but Andra tells him that it’s her decision to make and she won’t allow her parents to have died for nothing. Then she runs off.

We next see Andra sitting alone on the beach. Dekker finds her and explains that he wasn’t there, when Andra’s parents were killed. Dekker was away on a mission and so couldn’t protect his daughter and son-in-law. There’s also a flashback of a younger Dekker cradling his dying daughter in his arms, as she asks him with her dying breath to keep little Andra safe. Dekker tells Andra he would have done anything to trade places with his daughter.

We never saw the younger Dekker in the 200X cartoon. However, the Classics action figure came with an interchangeable head depicting the younger Dekker, so we do know what Dekker looked like in his younger years. I stuck the young Dekker head on Palace Guard body, because that’s the armour he would have been wearing. You can see what he looks like below – with little Andra and his daughter, portrayed by the Hasbro Dungeons & Dragons Diana, who looks a little young and is a little short, but still the best match, since black female action figures are not exactly common. Meanwhile, the famous lighthouse of Pilsum in East Frisia has been relocated to Orkas Island.

Masters of the Universe custom young Dekker with little Andra and his daughter on the beach of Orkas Island.

“Grandpa! Grandpa!” – “Oh, how you’ve grown, my little Rara. I wish I could come home more often.”

Adriana Melo’s depiction of the younger Dekker sticks pretty closely to the Classics version. He’s got the long hair and the ponytail and no eyepatch, though the Classics young Dekker only wears a mustache, whereas Adriana Melo’s take has a full beard. Which means that Dekker must have lost his eye at some point after Marzo murdered his daughter – quite possibly during the final battle with Marzo. Adriana Melo’s young Dekker also has dreadlocks, whereas the Classics version appears to have straight hair. Interestingly enough, there is a figure in the Mythic Legions line (which was created by the same designers who sculpted the Masters of the Classics figures and which occasionally includes Masters of the Universe inspired characters), which looks even more like Adriana Melo’s depiction of the younger Dekker than the Classics figure.  The figure is coming out early next year and I may have to get him, not only because he will make a great younger Dekker, but also because he looks incredibly cool.

Dekker continues that after her parents sacrificed themselves to drain Marzo and protect Andra and the island, Maeve (whom we see in the flashback, also younger than in the present day scenes) cast the magic spell that hid the amulet and kept Orkas Island shielded. The blood of Andra’s mother was what activated the spell and also the reason why Andra was the key to deactivate the spell and the shields.

Count Marzo confronts Andra's mother on the beach of Orkas Island, while little Andra hides in a cave.

“Oh, a stick. And what good is that doing to do against my magic?”

Andra wants to know how exactly sending her away from Orkas Island, literally in a small sailboat, to grow up on her own on the streets of Eternia was supposed to keep her safe. Dekker explains that the further away from the island and the amulet Andra was, the safer she would be. Besides, the spell was supposed to make her forget – which obviously did not work.

Andra is understandably angry and frustrated, at Marzo for killing her parents and at Dekker for lying to her and letting her grow up all alone. Dekker agrees that Andra has every right to be angry and admits that he made a mistake and was so focussed on keeping Andra safe and allowing her to grow up that he never considered what growing up all alone would mean for her. He also implores Andra not to sacrifice herself and tells her they’ll figure out everything together.

So now we know why Dekker retired to Orkas Island and that the reason wasn’t that he’d simply had enough of fighting and longed for the quiet life of a fisherman. No, the reason Dekker retired is because his daughter and son-in-law were killed by Marzo and Dekker wasn’t there to protect them. He failed his family and the people of Orkas Island, because he was on a mission solving Randor’s problems instead of protecting his family.

Dekker and Mekeneck confront Count Marzo and his hellhounds.

“With all due respect, Sir, but Marzo is mine. He kidnapped my son Philip and forced him to commit crimes for him.” – “No, Meck. Marzo is mine. He murdered my daughter and my son-in-law and I wasn’t there to protect them.” – “Okay, Dekker, you win. So how about we just take him out together?”

It’s also telling that the people of Orkas Island had to fight and defeat Marzo on their own. There were no Royal Guards to protect them, no Dekker, no Sorceress of Grayskull. Dekker wasn’t the only one who failed the people of Orkas Island, Randor failed them as well, because as King it would have been his job to protect Orkas Island and its inhabitants. What makes this even worse is that the time from when Adam and Teela (and Andra) were babies until they’re about sixteen to eighteen years old was generally a time of peace on Eternia. The Great Unrest had ended, the Horde had pissed off to cause trouble elsewhere, the Snake Men were sealed away in their pit and Keldor/Skeletor was either off conquering the universe with Hordak or stuck in the dark hemisphere behind the mystic wall, unable to get out. So it wasn’t as if there was so much else going on at the same time that the Eternian Forces were stretched too thin to protect Orkas Island and deal with Marzo as well.  No, Randor and the Royal Guard completely failed these people.

That said, there are some things which just don’t make sense. For starters, wouldn’t someone have noticed that an entire island and all its people have gone missing? I know I’m harsh on Randor on occasion, but I can’t really imagine that he wouldn’t notice for twenty years that part of his kingdom has gone missing. Unless Randor already knew, of course, and agreed with putting up magical shields around Orkas Island to protect the island and keep Marzo separated from the amulet. After all, neither Randor nor anybody else is surprised when Duncan asks Andra to join him on Orkas Island. But even if Randor knew, someone else should have noticed. There would have been traffic and trade between Orkas Island and the mainland and also islanders who were away from home when Marzo attacked. Of course, it’s quite possible that Maeve and/or the Sorceress cast a spell to make everybody forget Orkas Island had ever existed. After all, the Sorceress also cast a spell to make all of Eternia forget that King Randor and Queen Marlena once had twins.

For that matter, what about the Crab People? They don’t appear in this comic, but we know from the 200X cartoon that Orkas Island is also the home of the Crab People, so wouldn’t anybody have noticed that a whole species has gone missing? And were the Crab People okay with being cut off from the rest of Eternia because of a conflict that had nothing to do with them or did no one ask them? Besides, we know that at least one Crab Person, the Evil Warrior Clawful, was not on Orkas Island, when the magical shields went up. Of course, Clawful is incredibly stupid, so he might really never have wondered what became of his home and his people, especially since he’s probably stuck behind the Mystic Wall and like most of the Evil Warriors also seems to be something of an outcast from his people. So it’s quite possible that Clawful never even tried to go home.

As for Dekker sending Andra away for her own safety, it must have been a heartbreaking decision for him to make and he clearly just wanted to protect his granddaughter, but there still is an issue here, because you would expect Dekker to make sure that someone is taking care of Andra, if he himself cannot do it. The logical person to ask for help would be Duncan, who after all has a daughter of the same age. Or Dekker could have asked Randor for help to make sure Andra is taken care of. Yet he doesn’t.

Of course, if Dekker had asked Duncan to take care of Andra, that would have meant that Andra would have grown up alongside Teela, Adam, Cringer and Orko, which would have led to a completely different story. And indeed, the reason for the issues discussed above is that we’re dealing with a retcon or rather a series of retcons here. Dekker didn’t exist before the 200X cartoon. He never had a family before Revelation/Revolution. And while Andras was implied to be his granddaughter, it was also stated in Revelation/Revolution that Andra’s grandfather was dead. This comic reverses that death and brings back Dekker and a most welcome return it is, too. However, like all retcons, it has to stretch the story to make it work.

While Dekker and Andra talk on the beach, Andra picks up a shiny seashell. Dekker remarks that Andra’s mother always loved those shells and used to collect them to make art with Maeve. If art projects is what it was, since it’s also possible that Andra’s mother was Maeve’s apprentice – for why else would she have gone up against Marzo? At any rate, the memory of her mother and Maeve using the shells to make art gives Andra an idea.

We next see Andra in the townsquare, addressing the people of Orkas Island and instructing them to collect as many of the shiny shells as possible and use them to make mirrors or rather reflective shields. Meanwhile, Andra is tinkering with her Hulkbuster suit, Dekker is practicing with Andra’s arm cannon and Maeve is preparing an enchanted fishing net to trap Marzo.

While all this is going on, Marzo is sitting on his throne in his castle, surrounded by his pet rats and mice. When his power has fully returned, he tries to transform the rats and mice into monstrous hellhounds. However, it doesn’t work and Marzo realises that a shard of his amulet is missing. Furious, he sets off for Orkas Island.

While Andra is talking with Maeve, the red crystal shard in her necklace starts to glow, announcing that Marzo is here. However, the people of Orkas Island are ready for him. And so Andra meets Marzo at the beach and taunts him by calling him an old man to provoke him into firing magic blasts at her. However, Andra has rigged her Hulkbuster suit so that it projects holographic facsimiles of her, causing Marzo to fire his blasts at the various holograms and thus draining his power. It’s working, too, because we seen Marzo steadily aging as his power is drained.

Once Marzo has drained himself firing at all the holographic projections, Andra gives the signal and the people of Orkas Island all raise their shields studded with the reflective shells, effectively blinding Marzo. While he is distracted, Andra snatches his amulet and throws it to Maeve. Dekker fires an enchanted fishing net at Marzo with Andra’s arm cannon and Maeve casts a spell to keep Marzo trapped. Eternia’s fourth biggest threat has been dealt with.

Andra and Dekker confront Count Marzo and his hellhounds.

“In the name of King Randor, you’re under arrest, Marzo.” – “Oh, so you want to arrest me, little girl? You and what army?” – “She doesn’t need an army, cause she has me. Let’s get him, Andra. For Eternia! For Grayskull!” – “And for my parents!”

Sometime later, He-Man and Teela finally show up with the Royal Guard in tow. They’re both grinning and have an almost post-coital glow about them, which makes me suspect they used their wild goose chase in the Dunes of Doom for some quality time together.

Next, we see He-Man, Teela, Andra, Dekker, Maeve and the Royal Guard all sitting around a campfire on the beach of Orkas Island. Marzo is there as well, still caught in the enchanted fishnet and dumped on the beach like the catch of the day. One might feel a tad sorry to see him treated like that, except that Marzo is an archvillain, a drug dealer and he murdered Andra’s parents, so screw him.

Teela takes Marzo’s amulet from Maeve and promises she will keep it safe at Castle Grayskull. She also praises the spell Maeve put on the fishnet, whereupon Maeve tells her that Teela’s mother taught her a few things, when they were both younger. So Maeve knows that Teela is the daughter of Teela-Na, which again suggests that she was around when Teela was born.

A bit later, Andra is once again sitting alone on the beach. Dekker finds her and tells her that he’s proud of her and that her parents would be proud, too. He also tells Andra that he’s happy that she found friends and a family and is no longer alone. Andra, meanwhile, replies that even though she has friends and a found family, Dekker is still her family as well and asks if he could maybe visit her in Eternos or maybe Andra could visit him on Orkas Island, when she’s not needed as Man-at-Arms. Dekker smiles and tells her he’d like that very much.

Everybody says their good-byes and Teela teleports Andra, He-Man, the captured Marzo and herself back to Eternos. We next see Andra making her report to King Randor and Queen Marlena, who are flanked by He-Man and Teela, suggesting that as far as Randor and Marlena are concerned, Teela is already their daughter-in-law, even if she and Adam are a bit slow to progress their relationship (or are they?). Randor praises Andra’s work as Man-at-Arms, which is a tad surprising, since Randor normally isn’t great at praising others. Just ask Adam, who never got any praise from his father, at least not as himself, which actually became a plot point in part 2 of Masters of the Universe Revelation. I guess someone – maybe Duncan, maybe Marlena, maybe Adam – told Randor that Andra is suffering from impostor syndrome and really needs some praise.

Though Andra immediately points out that her grandfather and the people of Orkas Island are the ones who really deserves the praise and the King’s thanks. Coincidentally, Andra messes the titles up again and addresses Randor as “Your Highness”, when it should be “Your Majesty”, though I suspect Randor doesn’t much care, since he never struck me as someone who cares overly much for protocol.

Meanwhile, Marlena says that she’s looking forward to thanking Dekker in person, when he comes to visit them in Eternos. And that will be a very interesting visit that I hope we’ll get to see in a sequel one day. After all, Dekker was Miro’s Man-at-Arms. He knew both Duncan and Randor as teenagers and he used to call Randor “Randy”, which no one else with the possible exception of Keldor (though he jokingly calls his brother “Randork” in Masters of the Multiverse) ever did. Even Duncan, who has known Randor for decades and is his best friend, always addresses him as “Your Majesty” or “Sire” or “My King”. Duncan calls Randor by his name only once – in an episode of the Filmation cartoon, where Randor puts himself into dire danger.

And talking of Keldor, Dekker very likely knew Keldor as a kid, since he would have been already a member of the Royal Guard, if not already Man-at-Arms, back then. Which would make Dekker’s reaction to Keldor suddenly showing up to crash Randor’s funeral very interesting. Cause – come on – we know that Dekker would have attended Randor’s funeral, even if we don’t see him in Revolution. And of course, Dekker also knows that Randor and Marlena once had two children, unless the Sorceress’ spell of forgetting affected him as well. In short, Dekker knows a lot of the secrets and skeletons in the closet of the royal family, because he’s been around for a long time.

But for now, Dekker is still enjoying some quality time with Maeve on Orkas Island. As for Count Marzo, he was freed from the fishing net and locked in a cage instead. Separated from his amulet, he also looks like a very old man again. Randor addresses him and demands if Marzo has finally learned his lesson and if he has anything to say for himself and you can almost hear the “Oh please, not that guy again” sigh in his voice. Marzo, of course, has something to say. He insists that his magic will prevail in the end and that he will be back. Coincidentally, he said the same thing all the way back in the Filmation cartoon after he was defeated by He-Man and indeed, Marzo always does come back, even if he is defeated, and he is a very dangerous villain, even though he ranks a tier below the big three of Skeletor, Hordak and King Hiss.

However, Marzo is beaten for now and Randor informs him that he won’t be going anywhere except to prison. As for his amulet, forget about that. Teela will keep it safe at Castle Grayskull, which is probably where they should have put the blasted thing in the first or second or third place.

Of course, the question is where exactly they will lock Marzo up. The Royal Dungeon would be the obvious choice, but we don’t see him there in Masters of the Universe Revolution. Plus, he’d probably use the chaos of Skeletor and Hordak trashing the palace to escape. The dungeon of Castle Grayskull would be another obvious place, which would make the depowered Keldor is cellmate and would subject both of them to listening to Adam and Teela’s enthusiastic love-making, since Castle Grayskull may have thick walls, but the sound proofing is bad. Of course, would anybody really want to give Keldor and Marzo the chance to conspire with each other? Not to mention that throwing Marzo in the dungeon under Castle Grayskull would also put him perilously close to his amulet. And indeed, on the very last page of the comic, we do briefly see the shard from Marzo’s amulet in Maeve’s seashell necklace glowing, while the necklace lies on what appears to be Andra’s workbench. Of course, it’s also possible that Marzo gets sent to a prison planet, which happens to him in the Filmation episode “The Eternia Flower”.  Though it must be noted that he escapes from there as well. Cause Marzo always comes back.

Though for now, Marzo is out of commission and normal life or what passes for it returns to Eternia. And so the comic ends with Adam meeting Andra on the palace balcony once more, except that Andra is a lot more confident now. She’s also recruited Teela to help her with training the cadets, which will take some pressure of Andra and keep Teela busy, cause we know she likes training others. Plus, Teela has been training the cadets of the Royal Guard for years and has a lot of experience. Andra also tells Adam that there’s always room for one more, so Adam transforms into He-Man.

Finally, we get a splash page of Andra walking back into the palace, while behind her on the balcony, Adam says the magic words “I have the Power”, though they might as well be coming from Andra. This is a reference to the usual clowns starting the rumour that Andra was going to become the new Champion of Grayskull at the end of Masters of the Universe: Revelation, because Tiffany Smith said in an interview somewhere that she was asked to say the words “By the Power of Grayskull, I have the Power” during her audition for Revelation. Of course, it possible that every single person who auditioned for Revelation was asked to say those words – and note that Chris Wood, Mark Hamill and Lena Headey actually say the words in the show. ´

At the Planet Eternia forum, someone said that no one asked for or waited for an Andra comic. That may be true. However, just because no one asked for an Andra comic, doesn’t mean it’s not welcome. Because whether fans asked for it or not, what we got is a good comic. Besides, the Andra one-shot does give us something that a lot of fans have been clamouring for, namely a regular Masters of the Universe adventure where the fate of Eternia and the universe is not at stake for once, in short the sort of story you’d get in the Filmation cartoon or the audio dramas or the 200X cartoon or the comics from the 1980s. Now it’s obvious why Revelation and Revolution couldn’t really give us a smaller, self-contained adventure, since the limited episode count didn’t leave any room for this sort of thing, which is a problem with modern streaming era TV shows in general. However, comics are the perfect medium to tell smaller, self-contained stories and indeed, both Forge of Destiny and the Masterverse anthology series gave us this as does the Sword of Flaws mini-series, the second issue of which just came out (though Sword of Flaws is not set in the Revelation/Revolution continuity).

Comics are also a great vehicle for focussing on neglected or underdeveloped characters and the Andra one-shot does this very well. For even though Andra was a main character in both Masters of the Universe Revelation and Revolution, we didn’t really know a lot about her beyond “She’s Teela’s friend and mercenary partner” and “She’s a tech genius”. This comic gives her some much needed background.

What is more, we also learn more about Dekker, who’s a fascinating character from the 200X cartoon about whom we never knew very much, simply because he only had a single appearance. But like I said above, Dekker gets more development in this one comic than he’s gotten in more than twenty years. And I for one welcome this, because I’ve always liked Dekker. He’s just an awesome character and also one who’s incredibly important, since Dekker was instrumental in turning both Randor and Duncan into the men they are. So it’s great to finally learn more about him.

Seeing Count Marzo is always welcome as well, because he is one of the best second tier villains in Masters of the Universe. We don’t really learn a lot about Marzo that we didn’t know before in this comic, but the story does a good job of showing what a nasty piece of work Marzo truly is and also how dangerous he is. Besides, a second tier villain like Marzo is the perfect antagonist for a one-shot like this, because there’s little risk of affecting a potential third part of Revelation/Revolution (please, Netflix and Mattel, just give it to us).

That said, I do hope we get to see some of the other unaffiliated villains eventually such as Evil Seed (another extremely dangerous villain not seen since the 200X cartoon), Shokoti, who hasn’t been seen since the Filmation cartoon and is probably the one-of villain most deserving of a comeback, Lodar (another nasty piece of work who hasn’t been seen since the vintage mini-comics), Batros the book thief (originated in Filmation and put in a cameo appearance in the Masterverse anthology series), Geldor (who received an Origins figure and a surprise redemption story in the accompanying mini-comic), the Enchantress (evil sorceress who captured and imprisoned King Miro for almost twenty years, also not see since the Filmation cartoon and never had a figure either), the Game Master (another cool villain not seen since the Filmation days, though his design needs an overhaul) or Nepthu (another villain not seen since the Filmation cartoon, though he did get a figure in the Classics line). Heck, a talented creative team could probably even do something cool with a weirdo like Plundor, the evil capitalist bunny (yes, really). Skeletor, Hordak and King Hiss and their respective gangs will always be the top three villains of Masters of the Universe, but there is a whole universe of other characters waiting to be explored.

So in short: Give us more one-of stories featuring some of the lesser explored characters of Masters of the Universe, preferably within the Revelation/Revolution continuity, though I’d also be happy with stories set in a different continuity. For that matter, I’d also be thrilled with stories set elsewhere in the Masters of the Universe timeline. Give us the adventures of Captain Marlena Glenn of NASA and how she crashlanded on Eternia and fell in love with Eternia’s young King Randor. Give us the adventures of Dekker and Duncan with maybe some romance with Maeve and Teela-Na. Give us the adventures the adventures of King Grayskull, Veena, He-Ro, Sharella, Eldor and the rest of the gang in Preternia. Give us the adventures of Wun-Dar or Vikor or Vykron. Revisit the world and characters of New Adventures, the Masters of the Universe incarnation that is most deserving of a reboot to bring out the potential of those characters and their world. Or finally do what has been planned since the 1980s and give us the adventures of D’are, son of He-Man and Teela, and Skeleteen, son of Skeletor and Evil-Lyn (which the Classics mini-comics did, though very few people read them). And in fact, I strongly suspect that this is where Revelation/Revolution would have ended, finally finishing the storylines that have been teased since the 1980s instead of endlessly rebooting the same story over and over again, and leaving the field open for Masters of the Universe: The Next Generation.

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Posted by Arturo Serrano

The gods watch over humans, but who watches the watchers?

Previously on The Legend of Lara Croft, we saw Lara learn to stop trying to save the world on her own and rely more on her allies. In season 2, we see her take that lesson to an unreasonable extreme and rely too quickly on a stranger who is obviously wearing a blinking neon sign that says, “Villain of the Season.”

This new antagonist, a rich entrepreneur named Mila, describes herself as being in the business of saving the world. To most people, that lofty goal takes the form of selling a new form of plastic that degrades more quickly. But in secret, she’s behind a series of thefts of religious relics, because her idea of saving the world is amassing enough supernatural power to press Delete and Reboot on reality. That’s why she’s collecting the Dragon Balls—sorry, the Infinity Gems—sorry, the Orisha Masks: with the magic of all the Yoruba gods, she’ll become an uncontested force to deal with.

This plot sets for itself a very unstable tightrope to walk. Lara is still the star of the show, so she has to be the one to try to stop Mila from remaking the world. However, as a rich white Brit, she’s a distasteful choice of hero to save Yoruba relics from misuse. Even though the script takes care to have her eschew her late father’s less respectable methods, it still has to avoid portraying her as so ethical that she might come off as a white savior of Yoruba culture.

So the show’s solution is to have its main charater arc happen to someone other than Lara. This time there’s no personal lesson for her to figure out, so she cedes the moral spotlight to a new character: the human incarnation of Eshu, one of the Yoruba gods. At some point in the past, he had a moment of weakness and failed to protect his followers from a colonial invasion, and since then he’s lost his self-confidence and self-respect. On one hand, this is a compelling backstory for a character to deal with. On the other hand, it detracts from the thrill of the season’s climax, because Eshu happens to possess exactly the repertoire of divine superpowers that can immediately stop Mila, so a whole season’s worth of tragic losses could have been avoided if only he’d heard the requisite pep talk a bit sooner. That’s the core weakness of this plot: Eshu could have saved the day any time he chose to. All that was stopping him was low morale.

Because the focus moves away from Lara’s choices, this season doesn’t animate its action scenes in the style of a videogame like the first season did. Lara can’t be the hero in this story, because that would be horrendously problematic, so the role she fulfills is as a catalyst for Eshu’s return to heroism. It’s nice that she shares with him all the personal growth she acquired in the first season, although it feels strange that a god would need that kind of lesson.

In a way, the plot of this season resembles the plot of Eternals: someone is hunting down the gods in the present day, when they’re more or less retired after centuries of watching over humans, and the question implicit in the call to action is whether the human world deserves to be saved. Whereas the first season had humans debating whether divine powers could be trusted, now it’s the gods who debate whether humans can be trusted. That’s a neat way to carry a theme full circle.

One last, welcome addition to the show is the character of Fig, a professional assassin who works for Mila and ends up occupying a niche as Lara’s equal in martial arts. At every exotic location our protagonists visit, Lara has a fight with Fig that tests both of them in skill, strategy and endurance. It’s an exciting tension to follow, and apparently a thread that will be extended into a future season. So  even after searching for treasure in sunk ships, mounting a village’s defense with meteorite armor against modern guns, evading a shark in bloodied waters, and making it alive out of a crumbling Viking fort, there’s still much more to tell in The Legend of Lara Croft.

Nerd Coefficient: 6/10.

POSTED BY: Arturo Serrano, multiclass Trekkie/Whovian/Moonie/Miraculer, accumulating experience points for still more obsessions.

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Posted by John Scalzi

If you should ever want to wind up an old-school Robert Heinlein fan — which, by the way, you shouldn’t do, they’re all clocking seventy-plus years now, and you should respect your elders — tell them you enjoy the movie version of Starship Troopers more than the Heinlein novel on which it was (somewhat loosely) based. Then move fast, because if you don’t, you’re gonna get whacked upside the head with a cane. Those OG Heinlein fans may be older now, but they’re spry, and if there is one heresy remaining for them, a preference for the film over the novel would be it.

And in many respects they are not wrong. The movie version of Starship Troopers wasn’t originally based (directly) on the novel; screenwriter Ed Neumeier wrote up a sci-fi action movie treatment called Bug Hunt at Outpost 7 that did not reference the novel at all. It was only later in the development process that Neumeier and producer Jon Davidson learned the rights to the novel were available and optioned them, and started grafting elements of Heinlein’s tale onto the spine of Outpost 7. Add in director Paul Verhoeven, who legend has it couldn’t even get through the novel but knew he wanted to satirize fascism in the film, and you end up a final cinematic product that is to Heinlein’s novel like grape soda is to an actual grape.

As it turns out, however, a lot of people like the taste of grape soda. I happen to be one of them.

Nor do I think it’s a particular heresy to enjoy the movie, even if one prefers the novel. Very few movies adapted from novels are scrupulously faithful to their source material, and the few that are, are usually weirdly paced and unwieldly (looking at you, Watchmen, and even that changed the ending). The things that make for a great novel are not often the things that make for a great cinematic experience, and vice-versa, as some of the greatest films in history are made from mediocre books (looking at you, The Godfather).

Whenever I mention to people that my novel Old Man’s War is under option, there’s someone who inevitably tells me, I hope they keep it true to the novel. I can assure you they probably will not. As just one example, at one point Chris Hemsworth was attached to star in the movie. Do you think they would pay Hemsworth $20 million (or whatever) to be in the movie, and then paint him green, to match the description of his character in the novel? I do not. Nor do I think a star on the level of Hemsworth would have wanted to be that color. It’s not easy being green, by which I mean that he (and many many other characters) would have to spend hours in makeup every morning. They’d save time and money letting him be his original hue.

I was a movie critic for years and now for years I’ve been having works optioned for film and television. So I am here to tell you, with some authority: Movies always deviate from the novels. The question is less, why aren’t they being faithful to the source material. The question: Is what they’re doing to the source material interesting? That’s the question I ask when I watch a movie based on a novel.

What Paul Verhoeven is doing inStarship Troopers is very interesting. No one was asking for a pop art scifi movie that was ostensibly about shooting big damn alien bugs but was really a mediation about the quiet mainstreaming of fascistic thought and imagery into everyday life, and how all that glossy, idealized ubermensch aesthetic and thinking falls apart once it meets the chaos of war. But surprise! Here it is! Would you like to know more?

The story at least initially follows the novel’s outline: Johnny Rico (the impossibly square-jawed Casper Van Dien) is a callow, rich pretty boy who is not too smart, but is also vaguely dissatisfied with the cushy life being laid out for him. So when his pals Carmen (Denise Richards) and Carl (Neil Patrick Harris) sign up for Federal Service to fight against a bug-like alien race called the Arachnids, he sort of goes along, too, annoying his parents in the process. Boot camp is hard for Johnny, and he almost calls it quits, but then his home town of Buenos Aires gets smooshed by an Arachnid-guided meteorite, and then, well, it is on.

Nearly everything up to this point in the film, save for a brief intro battle sequence, has the flat and brightly-lit affect of 90s teen television: it all looks like Starship Troopers 90210, up to and including absolutely beautiful “teenagers” who are clearly well into their 20s, if not older (of the main trio Van Dien was 27 when filming started, Richards was 24 and Harris was the baby at 22). And this is the point: Verhoeven wants to seduce you with hot kids in a nice clean world that seems great as long as you ignore the public executions, the denial of voting status for most people, the military dictatorship, and, you know, the war out there in space.

But then you get to that war out in space, and you know what happens to all those really hot kids? Nothing good! And that’s where Verhoeven springs his trap. All the physical beauty in the world won’t save you in battle! All those really cool, vaguely-nazi-looking uniforms don’t look nearly as good shredded and covered in blood! And all the training and/or indoctrination you might get means nothing when the military command tells you little and sends you to die by the shipload. Verhoeven, who has never been shy about gouts of blood, severed limbs and gore, paints his masterpiece here in the viscera of the young, who ten seconds before looked like they should be in a Gap ad. The director holds up the fascistic perfection of a Leni Riefenstahl film, specifically to gleefully dash, slash, and splash it into the dirt.

Ironically (or perhaps not so ironically, because this is the US and we don’t do irony especially well), lots of folks didn’t clue into what Verhoeven was up to, accusing the famously anti-fascist director of glorifying Nazism, an accusation which Verhoeven was flabbergasted by. It would take years, long after the movie was out of the theaters and into home video, for most people to fully get what he was up to. Some people still don’t like it; many old school Heinlein fans continue to be enraged that Verhoeven’s lardering his story with fascistic imagery painted their favorite writer with the authoritarian brush.

I don’t think Heinlein ever landed on the “fascist” square at any point in his life. It’s certainly true, however, that Heinlein was moving target, politics-wise; how else can you describe someone who worked on the campaigns of both Upton Sinclair, a socialist and Democrat (who ran for governor of California in the 1930s) and the uberconservative Barry Goldwater, who ran for president in 1964? Heinlein’s politics started left and sauntered right and added in a dollop of free-love weirdness (to, uhhhhh, say the least) in there to confuse everybody. The dynamic range of his politics over his life (and how that leaked into his fiction) means that if one wants to, one can cobble together an image of him through his work that these days gives off an authoritarian odor. Starship Troopers, the novel, is the prime source for that. The blatantly fascist imagery of the movie, satire or not, doesn’t help his fans make an argument against that.

I’ve gone into the weeds with the politics of Starship Troopers, so let me note that aside from the design of the movie, it’s also a sharply-paced action film, where the bug-killin’s both varied and plentiful: if you’re looking to see a bunch of alien bugs get ripped up by humans as much as the humans get ripped up by the aliens, this is your film. The CGI in film remains immaculate; thirty years on, it’s wild how good and how threatening the arachnids look. This film doesn’t have just one or two of them, sneaking about ala the Alien films; no, it piles them on in the hundreds, and they very much look like they are going to fuck everyone up. As Carl points out, “It’s a numbers game. They have more.” Boy, do they ever. There are very few scenes in the film where it ever feels like the humans have the upper hand, and even when they do, they’re as likely to lose a few fingers than not. Whatever else this movie is, it’s a good action-adventure film, if not, exactly, a feel-good action-adventure film.

Like so many other Paul Verhoeven films, Starship Troopers is a chaotic mess of tones; all those action scenes and pointed imagery and pretty, pretty people, tossed into a stylistic blender and sent a-whirlin’ at the highest speed setting. Almost thirty years ago now I wrote a review of this film that started with “Paul Verhoeven is a director who can give you everything you want in a movie, as long as you want too much of it.” You know what? I stand behind that sentence. Verhoeven thinks subtlety is for cowards, and he’s having none of it here, and you’re not getting of it, either. You either accept this is going to be a firehose of a movie, or you get out of the way.

To get back to those old school Heinlein fans, many of whom I like very much as humans, I can only offer the following advice to them, in terms of how to think about their beloved book, and this heretical film Hey! There’s a novel called Starship Troopers! It’s pretty good! Coincidentally and unrelated, there’s a movie called Starship Troopers! It’s also pretty good! Not the same, but pretty good. You can’t copyright titles, you know. It was inevitable there would be a movie and novel with the same name, otherwise having little to do with each other. These things happen. And that’s okay.

Also, wait until I tell you about the remarkable coincidence that happened with I, Robot.

— JS

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Posted by Gideon Marcus

by Gideon Marcus Seven years ago, Avalon Hill made wargaming history with the introduction of its Eastern Front game, Stalingrad.  Despite the name, it was nothing less than a simulation of the first few years of the German/Communist struggle in World War 2. Lorelei and Elijah playing Stalingrad in Fall 1968 It was a fun … Continue reading [December 18, 1970] General Winter Returns (the wargame Battle of Moscow)

The post [December 18, 1970] General Winter Returns (the wargame <i>Battle of Moscow</i>) appeared first on Galactic Journey.

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Posted by Athena Scalzi

When I opened Instagram yesterday, the first video to come up was from one of my favorite food content creators, Justine Dorion (perhaps better known as @justine_snacks). You may remember back in 2022 when I made her Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies. Well, this time, she was making Sticky Ginger Bars, and I knew immediately that I was going to make them right then and there.

Wouldn’t you know it, though, I was lacking heavy cream and dates! Funny enough, I usually have both, but just happened to be out in this instance. So I grabbed them at the store and then made these bars right then and there.

So let’s talk about it!

First, the ingredients. We’ve got the basics: flour, sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, butter, the usual suspects. Some of the more “oh I don’t have that in my pantry currently” type items are pecans, dates, and fresh ginger. At least those are pretty easily acquirable! Overall, I thought the ingredients were very normal things, and not overly expensive. Dates are definitely pricey (and so is my one true butter, Kerrygold) but otherwise it seems like a pretty standard, easy list of ingredients.

The first thing I made was the ginger cookie dough. I loved that in the steps of her recipe, she lists the measurements for the ingredient you’re using in that step. IT WAS SO HELPFUL. Thank you, Justine, for thinking of those of us who are tired of scrolling back up to the ingredients list to see the measurement again. Bless.

Mixing everything for the dough together was super easy, I just threw everything in my stand mixer and let it go until it was lighter in color like the recipe says. The real struggle came in trying to press the dough into a parchment lined baking dish.

In Justine’s photo on her blog, the dough looks so much more cooperative and less anger-inducingly sticky. Here’s how mine looked after I about had a meltdown about not being able to spread it evenly and get it into the corners well:

A baking pan with parchment paper, and a gingerbread looking dough spread into the pan with a black rubber spatula resting on top.

The dough, though very spiced and tasty, was difficult to work with and didn’t want to spread nicely. It just wanted to stick to itself and the rubber spatula. But I finally got it in there well enough that I moved onto the caramel.

I don’t like making caramel, I find it to a trifling process. I will say for this caramel, it was about as easy as a caramel can be. Butter and sugar (and in this case, honey!) and you melt it together until it boils and then once you take it off the heat after a few minutes you just add your dates and pecans and heavy cream and there you go. Not so bad! It really took no time at all to make the caramel, the thing that took forever was chopping the dates. Partially because I bought pitted and had to pit each one before chopping them.

After mixing up the caramel, here’s what it looked like:

A shot of the caramel, full of pecans and dates. A purple rubber spatula sits in the mixture.

I burned myself very slightly eating more of this than would be considered just a taste test. It was so flippin’ good. Once I poured it on top of the cookie dough and put it in the oven, I licked that spatula spotless. Delish.

The recipe says to bake them for 25-30 minutes, so I just did 25 and hoped they weren’t underdone. It came out looking like this (I sprinkled flaky sea salt on before the photo):

A big square slab of pecan caramel treats.

Well, it’s certainly something. Mostly pecans, from the looks of it. It didn’t look all that glamorous, and I had to stop myself from being impatient and trying to cut into it while it was warm. It was pretty much straight goop. Not soupy, but definitely not solid, either. I was nervous I had messed up, or not baked it long enough. I started to get anxious that I’d wasted all that time and ingredients.

Turns out, it just needed to cool (like the recipe says)!

A shot of an individual bar, from the cross section angle so you can see the layers of the ginger cookie bottom layer and the pecan date caramel layer on top. It looks pretty good! It's taken in natural light from windows and there's grey/white carpet in the background, plus a small bit of a white couch is visible.

Okay that looks really yummy. And… it is! Molasses, pecans, vanilla, fresh ginger, what’s not to love? These bad boys are packed full of spicy goodness (not spicy like hot, spicy like warm Christmas-y spices) and they are sticky sweet ooey-gooey goodness that needs washed down with a swig of milk. They are a lot but they are quite delicious.

I will definitely be making these again for people for the holidays! It’s the perfect Christmas time treat.

Last but not least, I wanted to talk about how many dishes I used. I will start off by saying I definitely could’ve cut down on my dish total if I had thought things through a little better, but I’m the kind of person that will throw something in the sink and then think, “oh wait I still needed that.”

That being said, I used the stand mixer bowl and paddle attachment, two rubber spatulas, one baking pan, one pot for the caramel, a cutting board and knife for the dates and pecans, a grater for the fresh ginger, and several measuring cups and teaspoons. Not horrible, at least it’s all stuff that can go in the dishwasher (minus the knife).

Another thing I really love about this recipe is that Justine provides alternatives like just using more pecans if you don’t like dates, you can make it nut-free with toasted pumpkin seeds, and if you want to make it gluten free you can just use one to one gluten free flour (she has the same favorite brand of flour as I do, King Arthur). Whilst I was making these and adding the cinnamon, I thought that they would be good with cardamom in them, and she actually says you can add some to make it even more holiday-warmth-esque!

So, yeah, I like how she writes her recipes, and I like the result of making these. Thank you, Justine, for another great recipe! She’s actually one of the few food content creator’s cookbooks I have. I even preordered it.

How do you feel about these ginger bars? Do you like fresh ginger? Are you a fan of dates? Let me know in the comments, and have a great day!

-AMS

The Merro Tree by Katie Waitman

Dec. 18th, 2025 08:46 am
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A determined artist faces potentially lethal criticism.


The Merro Tree by Katie Waitman
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Posted by Arturo Serrano

For what does it profit you to raid all the tombs and forfeit your soul?

With the tiniest lip service to the ethical problems related to tomb raiding, the Netflix animated series The Legend of Lara Croft asks what that kind of life does to a person. Usually, in a Tomb Raider videogame, you’re mostly worried about the right timing of an acrobatic stunt and about the remaining number of bullets in a shotgun when angry dobermans come barking at you. In the show, it’s a given that Lara will succeed at everything, because she’s just that awesome, so the stakes become personal: is tomb raiding a worthy pursuit when it can get your friends killed, when it can attract the worst kind of enemies, when it can become an easy substitute for processing difficult emotions?

The adventure for the first season is nothing exceptional: it’s a globe-trotting quest to collect all the Dragon Balls—sorry, the Infinity Gems—sorry, the Peril Stones before the bad guy does, because if one individual accumulates that much power—I’m sure you’ve fallen asleep by now. For the most part, the adventure is an excuse to boast gorgeously drawn scenery from every corner of the world, including Mesoamerican jungles, Mongolian steppes, Chinese rivers and French catacombs. The quality of the landscape drawing is one of the high points of the show.

Also, it’s fascinating to watch the flow of a videogame narrative play out in television. In every episode, Lara has to solve a puzzle rigged with traps, or fulfill a side quest to find some lost children before the villagers will help her, or jump between areas of a room in a precise sequence, or frantically run around a dinosaur to shoot it dead before it eats her. Some of these sequences are animated to have the “camera” follow Lara’s movements just as if they were happening in the game, and that’s a nice degree of attention to detail.

But what really makes the story interesting is Lara’s inner journey. At the start of the series, one of her traveling companions is killed, and she spends subsequent episodes processing her guilt and learning the difference between protecting her loved ones from the ugliest bits of tomb raiding and pushing them away for fear of losing them. She’s incredibly lucky to have the excellent friends she has, because their support stays unwavering through her worst tantrums. She eventually comes to realize that choosing the tomb raiding lifestyle is something she needs to do for reasons that matter to her, instead of doing it out of loyalty to dead mentors. In particular, she needs to learn to not use her adventures to distract herself from her grief and anger, because that’s the same mistake that the villain makes in his own quest for revenge, so he serves as a dark mirror of what she could become.

So, in between climbing cliffs and dodging bullets and deciphering clues and wrestling crocodiles and sneaking in secret lairs, she has valuable conversations with her allies that help her grow beyond her learned coping style. The messy feelings she harbors about the burden of the Croft name get resolved elegantly when she decides that she doesn’t have to follow the template of how her father defined the Croft legacy: the name belongs to her now, and she gets to define it in her terms.

I don’t know whether the Holy Grail of a good videogame adaptation has been found yet, but The Legend of Lara Croft clears the bar of not sucking. There’s enough dungeoneering for those who like dungeoneering, enough drama for those who like drama, and enough comedy for those who like comedy. Tomorrow we’ll see whether season 2 can stay the course.

Nerd Coefficient: 6/10.

POSTED BY: Arturo Serrano, multiclass Trekkie/Whovian/Moonie/Miraculer, accumulating experience points for still more obsessions.

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Posted by John Scalzi

Nostalgia is a trap. The people who indulge in it do so with selective memory, either their own or someone else’s. When I was a kid in the 80s, people looked back yearningly at the 50s as a simpler and better time, when families were nuclear, entertainment was wholesome and a slice of pie was just a nickel, conveniently eliding the segregation of black citizens, the communist witch hunts, and the fact that women couldn’t get things like credit cards or mortgages without a husband or some other male authority. Later people started looking at the 80s the way the 80s looked at the 50s, and they enjoyed the dayglo colors and the cheeky music and forgot apartheid, the cold war, leaded gas and smoking everywhere, or the fact that gay men were dying of AIDS and the US government (for one) couldn’t be persuaded to give a shit. I don’t feel nostalgia for the 80s; I lived in it. A whole lot of things about it were better left behind.

And still, nostalgia persists, because being an adult is complicated, and that time when you were a kid (or frankly, didn’t even exist yet) was uncomplicated. You didn’t have make any decisions yet, and all the awful things about the era existed in a realm you didn’t really have to consider. The golden age of anything is twelve, old enough to see what’s going on and not old enough to understand it.

Pleasantville is all about the trap of nostalgia and how its surface pleasures require an unexamined life. Tobey Maguire, in one of his first big roles, plays David, a high school student with a sucky home life who is obsessed with the 50s TV show Pleasantville, a sort of Father Knows Best knock-off where there patriarchy is swell and there is no problem that can’t be resolved in a half hour. For a kid from a broken home, whose mom is about to sneak off for a weekend assignation in a moderately-priced hotel, Pleasantville sounds like paradise.

That is, until David and his twin sister Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon) are, by way of a magical remote control, whisked away to Pleasantville itself, in all its monochromatic 50s glory, and forced to take on the roles of Bud and Mary Sue Parker, the two kids of the series’ main family. For Jennifer, who is a Thoroughly Modern Millennial, this is a fate worse than death; she had plans for the weekend, and they didn’t involve dressing up like a square. David, on the other hand, is initially delighted. He knows the series inside and out, is excited to be in the highly delineated world of his favorite show, and assures his perturbed sister that as long as they play the roles assigned to them, everything will be fine until they find their way back to the 90s.

You don’t have to be a devotee of 50s sitcoms to guess how long it takes until things start going awry. David and Jennifer, whether they intend to or not, are now the proverbial snakes in the garden, bringing knowledge into a formerly innocent world, sometimes literally (David tells other teens what’s in the formerly blank library books, and the words magically fill in) and sometimes also literally, but not using words (Jennifer introduces the concept of orgasms, and boy howdy, is that a game changer). As things get more complicated, some people get unhappy. And when some people get unhappy, they start looking for someone to blame.

Pleasantville is not a subtle film by any stretch: when people start deviating from their assigned roles, they change from monochrome to color, which allows the film to label part of its uniformly Caucasian cast as “colored,” which… well, I know what extremely obvious allusion writer/director Gary Ross was trying to make here, and the best I can say about it is that it is not how I would have done it. Also, any film where a nice girl character offers a nice boy character an apple right off the tree is not trying to sneak anything past you. The movie wears its lessons and motivations right on its sleeve, and in neon.

What are subtle, though, are the performances. With the exception of J.T. Walsh, who plays the mayor of Pleasantville with big smiling back-slapping friendly menace, no one in this movie is overplaying their hand. We notice this first with David/Bud and Maguire’s bemused way of getting both of them through the world, both ours and Pleasantville’s. But then there’s Bill Johnson, the owner of the malt shop Bud works in, who is initially befuddled when things are out of sequence, but gets progressively delighted the more improvisation gets added into his life. Bud’s dad George (William H. Macy) finds his role as paterfamilias slipping away and is befuddled rather than angry about it. Even Jennifer, who initially comes in as a wrecking ball, finds a lower gear.

But the true heart of Pleasantville is Betty, Bud and Mary Sue’s mom, played by the always tremendous Joan Allen. Like everyone else in Pleasantville, Betty starts off as a naïf, who only knows what’s been written for her. But the more she strays from what she’s supposed to be doing and saying, the more she understands that what she’s “supposed” to be doing and saying stands in total opposition to what she actually needs — when, that is, she finds the wherewithal to both understand and act on those needs. Her transformation is bumpy, not without backtracks, and deeply affecting. Joan Allen did not get any awards for this film, but it is an award-worthy performance.

(Also award-worthy: Randy Newman’s score, which was in fact nominated for an Oscar.)

It’s this dichotomy — high concept, deeply ridiculous premise, and heartfelt, committed character performances — that fuels Pleasantville and makes it work better than it has any right to. It would have been so easy just to play this film as farce, and you know what? If the film had been played as farce, it would have been perfectly entertaining. Watch the latter-day Jumanji films, the ones with Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart and Jack Black (and Karen Gillan! Whose comedic talents are underrated!) and you’ll see how playing a ridiculous concept almost purely as farce can be both amusing and profitable. There is a world where Pleasantville is one of those 90s comedy movies whose titles on the movie posters were big chunky red letters. It’s just not this world, and the film is better for it.

By now at least some of you may have figured out why I find Pleasantville so compelling and watchable. What Ross is doing in this movie is the same sort of thing I do in a lot of my writing: Take a truly ridiculous, almost risibly farcical concept, and then make characters have real lives in the middle of it. You’ll see me doing it in Redshirts and Starter Villain and especially in When the Moon Hits Your Eye, in which, you’ll recall, I turned the moon into cheese. A lot of people think doing this sort of thing is easy, which, one, good, I try to make it look like that, and two, if you actually think it’s easy to do, try it. It takes skill, and not everyone has it, and not every book or play or TV show or movie that attempts it gets it right.

Pleasantville gets it right. It looks at the pleasures of nostalgia and says, you know what, it’s not actually all that great when you think about it. It’s no better than the real world and the modern day.

It’s hard to believe it just now, but there will come a time when someone looks back at 2025 and thinks, what a simpler, better time that was. Not because their world is that much worse (I mean, shit, I hope not), but because by then all of this will be rubbed smooth and easy and someone who is twelve now will remember it as carefree. Those of us over twelve will know better what lies underneath pleasant nostalgia. So does this film. Nostalgia is never as great as you remember it.

— JS

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Posted by Athena Scalzi

Today, I went on a journey to far away. Southeast of Cincinnati, to be more specific. While these past few days have been filled with icy roads, single digit temperatures, and disgusting slush of dirty snow and salt, today produced a much warmer and sunnier day. Thus, the snow began to melt, and everything turned to mud.

I know, of course, that cars can get stuck in snow, but it didn’t really occur to me all that much that cars could get stuck in mud. Today, I learned that valuable lesson.

So there I was, driving through curvy, wooded roads in the middle of nowhere, going to a house that was selling a beautiful, absolutely huge floral oil painting. When I got to the estate, I pulled into the long driveway and saw that there were two cars parked in the yard. I immediately thought that these two cars must be other buyers of these people’s Facebook Marketplace goods, so I figured I’d just park alongside the other cars in the yard.

I went in to the lovely home, acquired my big ass painting, barely fit it in my minivan (with the middle row of seats down, even), and proceeded to go on my merry way. Just kidding, I was stuck as heck! My wheels were spinning round and round in the mud and I was tearing up their lawn somethin’ fierce.

I walked, full of shame, back to their front door and knocked again, telling them I was stuck and I was sorry to be in the hair for longer than anticipated. Them, being an elderly couple, expressed their apologies for not being able to push my car or really do much of anything to help, to which I of course replied they’re completely fine and have nothing to be sorry for.

Funny enough, I had a ton of flat, broken down cardboard in the back of my van (that the painting was resting on). I don’t know if you’ve ever seen this before, but I remember a number of times where my mom was stuck in the snow and wedged cardboard under the wheels to gain traction and get unstuck. I thought I could do the same, but it simply was not working, and I was just making a mess.

A shot of my front driver's side tire, covered in mud and cardboard barely wedged under it.

So, I called a tow truck place. They said they couldn’t do it. I called a second place, but the number didn’t work. Finally, I called a third place, and they said they could be there within half an hour, and the minimum cost was $150.

I sat and waited in my car the half hour until they got there, got towed out, and then finally started the two hour drive back home. I was now about an hour behind schedule in my relatively packed day.

All this being said, my very exciting story of getting towed FIVE FEET ONTO THE ASPHALT is not why I wanted to talk about this incident. I wanted to tell you about this because I had an interesting realization once the situation was all said and done.

I was not mad. Like, at all. I got stuck in the mud, got my boots and car filthy, had to pay $150 just to get towed back onto the driveway, was behind schedule, and still had to drive two hours home. And yet, I was extremely and utterly unbothered.

Though I wouldn’t consider myself an angry or aggressive person by any means, I do have a very bad habit of letting very common or small issues completely ruin my mood and affect my entire day. And usually when something (such as getting my car towed) happens, it would make me think self-pitying, woe-is-me type thoughts like “of course this would happen, just my luck, fuck my life.”

(These thoughts, by the way, are extremely invalid because it is literally not my luck at all, I actually have pretty good luck and usually bad things don’t happen to me regularly.)

However, this time around, I did not have any negative thoughts like that, or feel stressed out at all. Truly, my brain was just like, “ah shucks, I’m stuck, that’s a little unfortunate, but no big deal, I’ll just call a tow truck and that’ll be that, and everything is fine!”

THAT NEVER HAPPENS IN MY BRAIN.

To go beyond feeling unbothered and not stressed, I felt grateful that I have the ability to call a tow truck, get unstuck within half an hour, and drop $150 on it without a second thought. My day is not even remotely affected by that money. I can still get groceries, I can still pay my bills, and in fact after that I got a full tank of gas, got a sandwich and coffee, and went to Kohl’s and spent like $250. It literally didn’t matter. I was more concerned by the fact I was an hour behind schedule than that I had to spend money on towing.

How lucky am I that I got a kick-ass painting, am able to get help when I need it without worry, and now I have a small story out of it.

Long story short, for what feels like the first time in a very, very long time. I didn’t melt down over an issue. I didn’t hate my entire existence because of a fixable problem. I didn’t feel like exploding just because something went wrong. I was fine! I wasn’t even mad or annoyed. I was perfectly okay. That feels so much better than getting angry.

Now I just need to go wash the mud off my boots.

-AMS

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The tabletop fantasy roleplaying game from Kobold Press of high adventure in a Labyrinth of infinite worlds, and more.

Bundle of Holding: Tales of the Valiant
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Posted by John Scalzi

Two things:

One, if you sent me an email in the last month and I have not responded to it, I will be attempting to respond to it in the next couple of days. Sorry for the delay, I was busy doing secret things, and by “secret things” I mean “nothing actually, just avoiding email.”

Two, if you sent an email in the last month and you don’t get a response to it by Friday close of business, you can assume you’re not getting a response to it, not because I hate you and I want you to die, but because I might have accidentally archived it. If you want, and if it is actually important you get a response from me, send it again on that Monday.

— JS

Micah Aaron Tajone Kalap Obituary

Dec. 17th, 2025 10:56 am
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Micah was a co-worker at the theatre. He was the sort of person who becomes a front of house manager by age 18.

Micah Aaron Tajone Kalap Obituary

As it happens, the bridge nearest the funeral home was just torn down. As a result, access looks like this...



(Buses are even worse)
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Can a community of otaku save their apartment building from gentrification? Should a community of otaku save their apartment building from gentrification?

Princess Jellyfish, volume 1 by Akiko Higashimura
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Posted by Unknown

It’s the end of an era and My Hero Academia sticks the landing in the final season

It’s hard to believe the iconic anime My Hero Academia has come to an end. After multiple feature films and eight seasons of escalating battles, emotional struggles, physical loss, and societal betrayals, the series has wrapped up with a satisfying conclusion that doesn’t hesitate to lean into the imperfections of the characters and the reality of loss, while still leaving viewers with a profound sense of hopefulness. The long-running series follows the adventures of Izuku (Deku) Midoriya, a determined boy whose dream of being a hero inspires a diverse range of heroes, antagonists, and ordinary people, while he battles his own inner demons. MHA started out as a traditional underdog shonen anime with bright animation, fantastical character designs, and a feel-good plot. It seemed to be the kind of comfort adventure anime to enjoy without a lot of emotional exhaustion or complexity. Soon retail stores and cosplayers were diving into the show’s colorful palette and fun costumes. But early on, MHA began to dig deeper into its characters’ psyches and into the problems of families and of society as a whole. In between the energetic fight scenes and inspiring training montages, the show dealt with child abuse, domestic violence, racism, and mistrust of the government. After eight seasons and a significant last episode time skip, the characters grow from optimistic children into mature, flawed, emotionally complex adults. The last episode delivered an unexpectedly thoughtful and quietly powerful ending, one which embraced both imperfection and hope in its final message that everyone can (and needs to be) a hero on some level. This full-circle moment from the first episode of the first season was a powerful way to end the saga and answer the question of what it really means to be a hero.

[Spoilers for earlier seasons] My Hero Academia is the story of a near-future version of Earth, where a genetic mutation eventually causes most humans to be born with some variation of special powers (“quirks”). Those with particularly strong powers are sent to academies to be trained as licensed superheroes (simply called “heroes”). The protagonist, Izuku Midoriya (a.k.a. Deku), is one of the few children born with no special power (quirk) at all. Not even a minor one. But he idolizes the ridiculously brash and popular number one ranked hero, Toshinori (a.k.a. All-Might), and dreams of somehow becoming a hero to fight the violent superpowered villains who plague the country. After a dangerous act of bravery, Izuku is secretly gifted a transferable superpower from All-Might, who can no longer fully maintain it due to a critical injury. Izuku now has the potential for super strength, super speed, and super agility. He enrolls in UA, the top hero academy, where he trains his body to accommodate and control the enormous and dangerous power he’s been gifted. While at UA, he builds bonds with his teachers and friendships with his fellow students, who have a range of powers, personalities, and complicated backstories. But the idealistic setup is upended when a group of superpowered villains directly attack the children at the school, leading to a long term-battle over the next seven seasons that exposes upsetting truths and pits the young heroes not just against the villains but also against society itself and their own personal traumas.

MHA starts out as a kid-friendly, colorful, inspiring hero adventure with a simplistic plot: heroes versus villains and natural disasters. In fact, the main antagonists are a criminal group simply known unironically as “The League of Villains.” But, like all good shonen, the story quickly takes an intense turn. Deku’s powerful but stoic classmate Shoto is a victim of child abuse with a disturbing backstory which involves domestic violence by his father, the number two rank hero, against his mother, who is also a hero. Deku also encounters a child, Eri, who appears to be kidnapped and abused, and he struggles to help her in the face of societal denials that anything is wrong. When the heroes lose a major battle, much of society turns against them and against Deku in particular. The country begins to question the usefulness and trustworthiness of heroes and the government. Viewers see how easily people can be manipulated when fear and distrust take over. The fantastical character design of some of the heroes turns into an exploration of racism, as Deku learns about the bigotry faced by his classmates who are heteromorphs, those whose quirks create unusual physical features. We also see Deku’s journey to physical and emotional resilience while holding on to his core values. And we see Deku’s childhood friend and antagonist Bakugo progress from a loudmouth bully to becoming a true hero who is willing to sacrifice everything.

Building on all this, the final season dives into lots of climactic emotional intensity and plenty of powerful moments, including the final critical battles against the two main villains, with Deku versus the tragic and tortured Tomura, and Bakugo versus the sociopathic All For One. The final storytelling is elevated, showing the full heroic redemption arc of former antagonist Bakugo. We also see Deku’s maturity as he faces devastating physical damage and a high cost for his choices. The animation and music are powerful, and the character design of the two final heroes is symbolic, making them look more serious, mature, and less cartoonish in a way that reflects their inner development and the intensity of this final fight for their lives. The entire UA class gets in on the action, and the final battles also provide an opportunity for cameos from prior side characters from the MHA feature films or from earlier seasons. So many familiar faces cheering on the heroes is a nice way to signal the end of the larger story.

Unfortunately, a drawback of the series has been the two-dimensional treatment of the main villain All For One. However, in the final season, through a flashback, we finally learn the full backstory of All For One (a.k.a. Zen) and his peaceful younger brother Yoichi, the original owner of Deku's transferrable power. We see how their desperate childhood led to abuse, violence, and to Zen’s obsession with power and control over Yoichi. That twisted love and obsession ultimately fueled a decades-long battle between the brothers that reshaped the fate of the heroes and the country. There is a nice symmetry in the brutal Zen having the power to take while the kindhearted Yoichi has the power to give, with those opposite concepts defining “evil” versus “good” in the series.

For a show that started out playfully, the ultimate story arc and messaging became surprisingly insightful, particularly in this final season. The perpetually optimistic Deku had dark moments in prior seasons and eventually became an outcast vigilante. In season 8, Deku again experiences significant loss, and he is forced to make peace with an imperfect reality. In an intriguing scene, Deku talks with Spinner, an incarcerated villain, who calls Deku a murderer. Instead of arguing or crying about it, Deku calmly admits that he is indeed a killer when needed. The two have an odd conversation that acknowledges their significantly different worldviews but sparks inspiration in both of them.

The final season emphasizes the need for a cross-section of people to create the world we want to live in. Not just physically powerful fighters, but also engineers, teachers, people of different abilities, and ordinary members of society, because, as the final season shows us, physical power may be flashy and fun, but it is fleeting. Eight seasons ago, MHA began with a tearful Deku asking the cliched question, Can I be a hero? In a key moment in the final episode, two random characters, an aged grandmother and an abused boy, have an interaction that answers that question: Not only can ordinary people be heroes, but they need to be. Not in flashy ways, but in small, ordinary acts of compassion and courage. In the final season, many of the former heroes have suffered irreparable injuries and are gone from the traditional arena. But in that full-circle moment with two random people, we see the way small acts of kindness or courage can literally change the world. A major theme of the show is to go beyond our comfort level to do the right thing. Hopefully, it will help all of us to better understand what it truly means to be a hero.

Nerd Coefficient: 8/10.

Highlights:

  • Ultimately satisfying despite some sad moments
  • Solid ending with profound messaging
  • Big fights, big emotions, and quiet introspection lead to a powerful final season

POSTED BY: Ann Michelle Harris – Multitasking, fiction writing Trekkie currently dreaming of her next beach vacation.

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Posted by John Scalzi

John Wick didn’t have to go so hard. It could have just been about what it says it’s about: A retired bad guy named John Wick (Keanu Reeves), who left the life for the simple pleasures of marriage, embarks on a path of revenge against those who defiled the memory and final gift of his wife. Simple! Easy! It could be a character piece, really, a sort of latter-day companion to films like Steven Soderbergh’s The Limey or even Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven.

Had it gone that route, maybe we’d be talking about how the film was a dramatic breakthrough for Reeves, whose quiet and mournful face speaks few words but makes them count, and how the story is a metaphor for, oh, I don’t know, how the struggle for personal peace in this world is a struggle against what makes us all so regrettably human. Yeah. Something like that.

John Wick could have been one of those solemn respected-but-neglected indie movies that makes, like, $6 million in the theaters and then get buried in the carousel of whatever streaming service it lands on, and no one would ever much think of it again. And you know what? That would have been fine. Just fine.

But, no. NotJohn Wick. John Wick did what it said it was about, for about fifteen minutes, and then it goes fully, completely, absolutely apeshit bonkers. John Wick a retired bad guy? No. Not good enough. He is the retired bad guy, the bad guy who is such a myth and legend that all the other bad guys lose bladder control at the mere mention of his name. John Wick handy with a gun? Motherfucker, he can kill you and two of your closest friends with a single No. 2 pencil. John Wick a part of the mob? The mob wishes. He’s an A-lister in a whole clandestine world of assassins, who have their own special hotels and pay for everything with gold coins.

Also: He looks like Keanu Reeves. That shit’s just unfair.

None of the side trappings of John Wick make any sort of sense, and they make even less sense as the series of films this one started goes along. The assassination service industry as represented in these films is ridiculously outsized; there can’t possibly be that much demand, and if there was, then a whole list of really prominent people would be dead already (and not just the people you wish were dead, but also all the people that all the people you hate wish were dead too). An entire hotel that caters only to assassins? That in later movies we see is actually a chain, like a Murder Marriot? The old-fashioned assassin telephone exchange, staffed entirely by tattooed ladies dressed like sassy 50s diner waitresses? I mean, I don’t get me wrong, I love all of it, it is totally a scene. But you have to know I have questions.

These questions don’t get answers. Indeed, these questions don’t have answers. We will never get a coherent explanation of the Economics of the Wickiverse, no matter how many YouTube videos might get made on the subject. This universe is not designed to make sense, except in one highly-focused way: To put John Wick in the center of it, and make him fight his way out, and to let us watch, intently, as he does.

Make no mistake: It’s the gun-fu that makes these movies go. John Wick’s director is Chad Stahelski, who made his cinematic bones as a stunt coordinator on dozens of films, and was also Keanu Reeves’ stunt double on The Matrix, which is where, if memory serves, the two of them first connected. The film’s producer and co-creator, David Leitch, has a similar and often overlapping stunt pedigree with Stahelski. Given this, it was never going to be in the cards that John Wick was actually going to be a quiet character drama. It was always going to be an all-shooting, all-punching, all-stabbing fight-fest from the word go, with just barely enough character development in those first few minutes to make it all make sense — or, if not make sense, at least give you the ostensible reasons why John Wick shoots the ever-living hell out of New York City, and most of the bad dudes in it.

It has to be said that Keanu Reeves is so very perfectly cast. There is these days a bit of a Cult of Keanu, and not without reason: Reeves is by every indication a genuinely stand-up guy, the sort of fellow who will give his bonuses for the Matrix movies to its crew so that they know how much he appreciates them, who dates and seems to be in love with an age-appropriate partner, who is willing to make fun of himself and not take himself too seriously, and who quietly donates millions to charity, and so on. He’s a good man, not just a good meme. He is all of these things (at least, apparently)! But he is not an actor with a huge amount of range. In that range: Excellent! Out of that range: a bit bogus, alas.

What he is, however, is a presence. Let him just be on a screen, and you can’t take your eyes off him.

Which is what John Wick does. The movie rarely asks him to speak more than one sentence at a time, one perfectly serviceable monologue excepted. All the rest of the time he is either glowering mournfully, or balletically slaughtering an entire stunt crew. Reeves 100% put in the work for the John Wick films; the internet is replete with videos of him practicing with live ammunition and being a hell of a shot. These films look like they actually hurt, and even though Reeves has a stunt double for this film (Jackson Spidell, take a bow, that is, if you can still move), he’s still pretty clearly getting banged up a bit as things go along. His character is described as an unstoppable force, and Reeves’ presence can absolutely sell that. This is not an action film where you feel the lead actor would wilt at an ingrown toenail, or where you can see the cut where the star is replaced by the stunt double. The cut is there, sure; Reeves makes it feel like it is not.

Reeves’ career was revitalized byJohn Wick; between the Matrix movies and this was a bit of a career fallow period, where things either didn’t quite work at the time (Constantine, which needed home viewing to buff its reputation) or were just, uhhhh, kind of quirky and seen by dozens. If Reeves ever worried about this I didn’t hear about it; he seems a little too copacetic to get worked up about such things. But as someone who’s enjoyed his screen presence since the days of Parenthood and, of course, the Bill and Ted movies, it was nice to see him ride yet another wave of popularity. It seems like everyone else in the world basically feels the same way.

There are four John Wick films, each more unhinged than the one before (and rumors of a fifth, even if it would make no sense whatsoever to do it, other than the usual “for money”). As stunt-filled gunstravaganzas, they are all state of the art, and as good as it gets. But it’s this first one that’s the one I like to rewatch. It’s tight, it’s fast, it knows what it’s about, and it doesn’t get too far up its own ass about its mythos and means. It’s a guy, getting back at another a guy, for messing up his peace. And blasting a few dozen other guys on the way to do that.

Hey, sometimes it’s like that. And John Wick really is the best version of that. As I said, this movie didn’t have to go so hard. But I’m pretty happy it did.

— JS

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